22 people in one home ! No I’m not kidding. 239

” 22 people under one roof. In one home. Really!”, this is the normal reaction of my friends when I share with them my experience of staying in the joint family since birth.

Now when we are staying in hyper-smart cities, this is really something above the line. As nobody can imagine how can so many survive together like this. Most of us are staying in small nuclear families, where there are hardly any visitors from our families or guests with blood relations, as we all are Super-busy, and if there are sometimes, we believe it is so much addition of work and responsibilities to our daily routine. ” Akhir time Kiske pass hai”, and “agar hoga kabhi, we will go on vacations abroad, but will hardly visit any relative.”..True, isn’t it?

But just to share, my experience, staying in a joint family is a blessing though, since each individual gets to learn so much and there is no need to go to personality development classes.

First, We learn TOLERANCE, yes that is opposite of intolerance – that we all are heading to slowly. When they are so many people, your grandparents, your elder uncle aunts, who also are of the second level of grandparents and their families, other younger siblings of your parents, your parents’ maternal families who would love to visit your grand house each fortnight, you automatic learn to tolerate people, it’s like a habit. You know they are there, their viewpoints on each thing are there, so you know you have to regard and tolerate them always. No options mean no excuse on that, after all, you start liking them together.

Second, you do not need a reason to PARTY, after all when you 22 are together and someone visits you with families( which is quite often), you order more than 30 samosa’s and rasgulla’s with milk badam for everyone, what do you need more in-house party then? lolzz. Even a small occasion is celebrated well since your family is together, you cannot miss anything important on the celebration or feel lonely ever. For me, this is the reason, I can’t stay alone at all, I need company whenever I eat a meal or even have a cup of tea.

Third, you learn tact of ADJUSTMENT, this is a powerful word. In today’s time if you are of adjusting nature, believe me, you really have a super power, for I know several people who are in serious trouble in their relations since they do not like to adjust at all. When your cousin wants your favorite suit to wear on a particular occasion, you know you have to adjust to your next favorite then or if your want to take bath in your bathroom before you, you know you have to adjust and wait.

Fourth, you learn the art of Good Communication. When you need to convince your 10-12 elders, to allow you to go on a college trip, you know how to convince. When in lobby everyone sits and tell their tales of a busy day in the evening, you become a good listener. Good communication is the key to happiness in the families as it simply fades away the doubts on the relations.

Fifth, you get a critical evaluation for free, Yes, I have seen people calling me to critical analyze their move, their dressing sense or way they represent something. But you know, you will get a lot of critical analysis from so many people in the family while you will step out of the room, you will be confident enough knowing what is wrong and what is not.

Last but not the least, you become extremely Knowledgable and that too practically without Google. You learn things related to culture, traditions, values and even learn culinary things. I know I learned the art of cutting vegetable and fruits quickly, making seasonal pickles, operate tandoor and art of cooking in bulk from my grandmother, mom and aunts in the kitchen. My cousins helped me to learn, how to fly kite, play guitar, play harmonium and dance. I learned hundreds of age-old nuska’s or home remedies to fight illness of any type. and of course, I always knew, how not to be bored !! haha

The list is so long, the things I have learned from my joint family. I still live with my in-laws and great grand parents of my kids but faimily count is 8. Missing fun of 22 though !

 

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Why is ‘Adoption’ unapproved by society for an unmarried single parent? 1373

I was preparing for sleep last night when my friend Asmi called me up. She was sounding flustered. More than flustered, there was a rage in her voice. It happens rarely that Asmi cries. She is 30, strong, self-reliant and a career-oriented woman. She didn’t marry because she chose not to marry. There is no catastrophic heartbreak story behind. Her focus has always been on her career. She is practical and staunched.

I understood her heart is really heavy else there has never been any place for tears in her eyes.

I quizzed her the reason.

“I am not crying because am sad, I am crying because am helpless and exasperated.” Asmi retorted.

I didn’t interrupt and allowed her to put her heart out.

“Preeti, I called my mother last night and had an argument with her.” she continued.

“I told my mother that I want to adopt a baby. Before I could say anything further she started yelling at me. She scolded me saying, Asmi already because of your decision of not getting married we are in pain. Why are you adding troubles to our lives? If you really want to adopt a baby just forget us. We have to live in this society and will have to answer people around. You have always done whatever you want but this time you are crossing your limits.

If not today, maybe tomorrow you will get married. Who will marry a girl with one child? Such things appear good in movies only. You better start focusing on marriage now. Preeti, My mother wasn’t even ready to listen to my thoughts”. Asmi started sobbing.

I really had no words to console her. Her thoughts were irreproachable and valiant.

But we cannot even disregard the fact that we live in a hypocrite society. When celebrities like Sushmita, Angelina, Sunny and more adopt a baby, we eulogize, lionize, praise their thoughts and we consider it as an act of kindness. We appreciate their humanity. We deduce that they gave a new life to someone. But when anyone from our own house even thinks of adoption we make them go through ignominy by coming up with the questions like is there any medical issue? Are you not straight? Why don’t you marry and then plan your own baby? Why are you trying to shame your parents? Why don’t you understand this baby won’t be your own blood? Are you kidding? Etc.

I’ve read somewhere that parenthood requires love and not DNA. I wish we really understand that. Your genes won’t define your family, our family is built with love care and respect. There are many people who do have a heart for adoption but fear comes in between. Fear of society.

I wish people understand that adopting a baby whether you are single or married isn’t a crime.

Adoption will not only give a baby a family but will also give us a special feeling. A feeling of being human. Probably the purpose we all are here for, giving life a life.

 

Movie Review: SIMRAN 2777

Queen, Tanu Weds Manu, Tanu Weds Manu Returns and now Simran, Kangna is on a rout, she has proven time and again that she is one of the best actresses available today. She has made a mark for herself in the film industry synonymous to that made by Sridevi, that, of doing movies which are female-centric, of movies which revolve around themselves (Judaai, Chaalbaz, Lamhe, Laadla to name a few). The only difference though being, all the movies had an extremely strong supporting cast. Kangna has to be given accolades to run a movie entirely on her very own shoulders, and this is not the first time either, we bow to you Kangna, you deserve the Best Actress Award for this one.

Kangna who plays Praful Patel is a gujju girl staying in Atlanta who likes herself be called as Prafff. Praf has a typical Gujarati accent and all my Gujju friends are going to love the Gujarati dialogues the movie carries, I know Gujarati and so I enjoyed it thoroughly.

Kangna is introduced from a housekeeping scene mopping and wiping floors and tables, there is just so much genuineness in that scene, it’s great to watch her there. When she goes to Vegas, her sleazy lines such as “are you tired, because you were running in my mind” are some great moments that bring about here innocence and wickedness both out at the same time.

In the red dress in Vegas, she looks gorgeous, she dazzles and ravishes like a diva and is super cute when she puts on her very native gujju accent “Halo, I aem Praeffff…” she just steals your attention away throughout the movie. A song in the movie titled “Lagdi Hai Thaai” sung by Guru Randhawa aptly describes what Simran is in the movie.

The best thing about this movie is that it has a good storyline and director Hansal Mehta pulls it off amazingly with Kangna. The first hour of the movie just zips its way through with Kangna showcasing her bubbly self, her expressions at an expensive store, her bargaining at the street shop and then her equivalence of the pink champagne and fries at the bartender, there are too many funny and hilarious moments. It’s the second half that becomes a tad serious but since the movie is almost 2 hrs, it doesn’t feel to be stretched at any point of time.

There are some points where you wonder if it is really possible to learn a bank robbery from YouTube and execute a heist, but those go in the movie stride and you really don’t mind these.

The movie touches important points related to the American Dream that much of our Indian Community has and exposes that it might not be true for everyone, it may turn out to be just a Dream for some. The nagging father of Kangna performs well and Sohum Shah is where I think a popular Bollywood actor would have benefited more, but Sohum looks original, he is simple and he looked like a studios guy from a small town in Gujarat, he does justice to his role.

But it’s Kangna and Kangna and Kangna stealing away the show, she is setting new benchmarks which are extremely difficult to surpass when it comes to ACTING. She is fantabulous and the heart of this movie.

She carries it on her shoulders all alone and she delivers a power-packed punch.

Music is good and hummable.

There is actually no one else to talk about in the movie, the movie has absolutely no supporting cast, but trust me, it wasn’t needed as well. The movie is about Simran, and it talks about Simran, hats off to Kangna, this one’s a Kohinoor in the QUEEN’S CROWN. 🙂

All in all, it’s an extremely light and a different movie with awesome Acting by Kangna. Watch it for Kangna.

Rating: 3.5/5.0

(0.5 points extra only and only for Kangna)