A Child’s Plea ……..!! 100

”Whenever I see my son I feel proud”, said Aman’s father to his wife standing next to him, on seeing his son studying for the SSC board exams which were just over the head. ”He has always lived up to my expectations and I am sure like always this time also he will score exceptionally good scores. I want him to have an excellent career in engineering and to attain that position which once I ever dreamt of but failed to achieve”….. and he left the room with tears in his eyes and memories of his past.

“Sometimes I feel scared when you express high expectations for him”, said Aman’s mother. ”By gods grace, we have a son who is respectful, obedient and good in studies. I fear if any day he is not able to bear the burden of your expectations then what will happen”.
“Oh! shut up. Don’t think otherwise. He is my son. He will never let me down”, said Aman’s father and turned to sleep.

A couple of months later the results were out. ” Did you see that, our son has scored 90 percent in SSC exams”, said Aman’s father jumping out of the chair in excitement on seeing the results on the computer.

”I knew he will be able to make it. Invite all friends and relatives, we will be celebrating tonite”, he said and left for office.
At night celebration began. All the near and dear ones had arrived and were enjoying themselves with food and drinks. Aman’s father was extremely happy and was boasting about his son’s achievement amongst his friends. Suddenly he overhears the conversation going on between his son and one his friend.
“What’s next beta, what are your future plan?'”,before Aman could reply anything his father intervened and said,” Oh he is opting for science for HSC and after that will pursue engineering”. Aman kept quiet and didn’t utter a word. He wanted to open out his heart to his father but stepped back and thought this was not the right time to do so.

The next morning Aman woke up and saw his father busy reading newspaper. He thought now the time has come to open his heart out to his father. He quietly sat next to him and in a subtle tone said,” Papa I wanted to share something. I need you to know that I love you both very much and don’t want to think that I am against you”. His father was clueless and said astonishingly,” What are talking about my child, I didn’t get you”.

“Papa I want to study Arts rather than science for my higher education”.

“What????”, his father exclaimed. “What are you saying. Arts?? Brilliant brains study science, my child. Arts will lead you nowhere. Your goal is different. You have to become an engineer”.

“No papa, becoming an engineer is not mine but your goal”, Aman replied softly. His father was shocked. He sat on the sofa dumbstruck. He was unable to speak anything. Words fall short of his mouth.

“And what after Arts? Your career? What do you want to be in life?”,his father said. “After that I want to study journalism and mass communication”, Aman said confidently. His father’s head shook down in disappointment. He moved out from there without initiating any further communication.

Aman’s mother went to him and consoled, “Let him study what he wants do and where his heart truly lies. Putting burden of our expectations on him will lead him to a phase where he will not be able to do justice to his work. Trust him and his abilities. He will not let us down. Our main motive is to see him successful and happily settled in his life. Which medium he chooses to attain that doesn’t matter. He should be self contended in whatever he wants to do”.

Next day the Sun shined up. “Aman..Aman..get up fast”, his father said. We are getting late. Aman and his mother looked at each other surprisingly. Come on dress up fast we have to go to your school for admission. Registration for the Arts stream closes at 12. We have to make up before that. Aman hugged his father lovingly and gratefully said, “Thank you…..thank you, Papa, for everything”.

And for the first time, the tight hug between the father-son duo was…..emotional…..satisfying….without any expectation & only out of love!!!

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“I Fear a Relapse”, Says Deepika Padukone. 1357

The trailer of the most awaited Padmavati movie was released making us wait on a tiptoe for the movie to be released soon which is actually on December 1st, 2017 (See the trailer here). While on-screen Rani Padmini fights for her honor, the actress who plays the role, Deepika Padukone is fighting altogether a different battle in her real life.

While shooting for the Happy New Year movie, Deepika was fighting her inner battle of depression. Although she did not realize it then. Her mother who came to visit felt there was something wrong and requested Anna Chandy, a psychiatrist from Bengaluru to talk to her daughter. Though Deepika ignored it for a period of time, she finally recognized her problem and took steps to cure it. However, in a recent event, while talking about the Jauhar scene of Rani Padmini in the movie Padmavati, she revealed that she lives in a constant fear of a relapse of depression. She said “ I don’t think, I am completely over it. There is always a fear of relapse as that phase when it happened is the worst experience in my life”.

Since her opening up about her condition in public, there are numerous articles written about depression and there are plenty of suggestion available for someone who is looking for help. But, the truth is a lot many of the population who are suffering from depression do not know that they have it and they need help. Most of them try to think it is nothing but stress, fatigue and they are over-worked.

Like Deepika said in one of her interviews earlier while talking about her feelings during the time, being sad and being depressed are two different things. When someone is sad, they look sad, but when someone is depressed, most of the times they hide it. They try to behave normally while the feeling of emptiness keeps nagging at them. You do not have to be poor or have to lose something in life to be depressed. Sometimes the feeling of depression has no reason.

How to recognize the signs?

When someone is depressed, you may notice certain changes in them. Such as,

  • Less interested in daily activities
  • Loss of appetite and weight changes (can lose or gain)
  • being angry and irritable most of the times
  • less energised
  • self-loathing
  • reckless behaviors
  • Change in sleeping patterns

These are some of the changes we notice in a depressed person, not for few days but on a regular basis. If you spot these in someone or if you are facing it yourself, get help. There is no age or gender who are affected by depression.

Recognizing and understanding the symptoms of depression is the first step to finding a solution. Once you know, meet a good psychiatrist and get help. There is no shame in finding help to cure a mental illness. We meet our doctors for physical illness. In the same way, sometimes our mind also need that extra help too.

Do not, I repeat do not ever be afraid to ask for help!!! Because you might be surprised that there are so many good people around you who really care and want to help you.

Marriage – the funniest ironical institution in India 221

Many people would not be able to figure out the mistake in the following figure. Well, there is no grammatical mistake, there is no printing error or any other fault in it. If you still haven’t figured it out, I have an answer for you, I would like you to face the ironical reality of the modern world or the 21st century where the thoughts and ideologies of Paleolithic age still prevails.

Women have always been considered as a pillar of the society, we have given her various names, we worship her, pamper her and consider her to be the live giver; there is nothing wrong in it. However, it blows my mind to see such kind of ideas still prevail in the society. I personally feel that a woman gets a chance to change her life, the first time she is born, the second time her life changes when she gets married and the third time she changes her life when she gives birth to a new life. But, amidst all this ebb and flow of life cycle, why is there a question that she needs to answer every time. Why is there a need to prove that she can equally love her parent and in-laws? Well, if you feel that I am proclaiming something different, then you must have a look at the picture here.

I find arrange marriages to be the funniest institution in India. Irrespective of the fact that I am a party to it, I still believe that it has some funny traditions and beliefs flowing in it. I would like to highlight a few-

  • The first thing that we say in India is, “Shaadi hamesha barabari ke khaandaan mein honi chahiye (One should get married in a family who is equal in status with the other),” Well, if that is true, why this equivalence is only restricted to money, why no one questions on thoughts, beliefs, ideas, vision etc. Yes, money is important to run a family, but imagine a situation where you have a big house, a big car etc. but both husband and wife are never on the same page. Is that the mantra for a happy married life? At least I don’t feel so.
  • Another popular phrase which we commonly here during the marriage is that “Shaadi to parivaaro ka mail hai ( Marriage is not between two people, it is the bonding of two families,” if that is so, why a girl has to put her in-laws first and ignore her parents. If that’s not the truth, I would again request you to run through the picture above. Why can’t both the families co-exist. Although, things are changing, the ground reality is different.
  • One of the common things I have heard is, “ Ladki ko sasural ke hisab se adjust karna chahiye (girl must learn to compromise and live as per her in-laws and husband),” there is nothing wrong in it and I too believe in it, but what if we tweaked this scenario, like both the parties can make slight adjustments so that everyone is happy and the guy or the husband doesn’t have to take sides.

What I have written is not new or neither revolutionary, I have actually started to find our society to be hilarious. We are never in a phase to create an equal world, rather we always pester on the fact that one has to be above, I think this hierarchical ideology is still haunting us since the time of Britishers. I don’t know how much change will come in the times to come, but, even if one person transforms after reading this, I will feel content.