Agle Janam Mohe Bitiya Na kijo 131

Yesterday, while surfing through my facebook account, I came across a very interesting quote; it mentioned about the transformation and sacrifices of a woman. We Indians so proudly designate a woman as a daughter, sister, friend, wife, and mother but forget the fact that she is a human first.

Binding her in relations which demand her to make sacrifices have been made as the protocol of her life, but I’m not here to start my ‘morcha’ on feminism, what brings me to write this is the lack of appreciation that women face despite making great sacrifices.

I was listening to our Prime Minister’s quote where he mentioned, “ Nari tu Narayani hai” which means a woman is a deity i.e. being born in the anatomy of female makes you a Goddess and why not, she is the only one who can make sacrifices, leave her own house and accepts a new family as her own and not to forget, can create a new life within her. But, my question here is, does her new family accepts here the way she is?

My Dear New Family

I am here to make you dear,

But I have my own fears;

I’m new to start a whole new family, it’s a new life and new people so, please forgive if I make any mistake.

Your

New Addition

I guess these lines clearly define what goes through a girl when she gets married. Although our society is changing but still, a major state of our society continues to live by the old school of thoughts where a girl is always considered as an outsider.

Her dreams and desires are all defined by the family where she will be living her life.  So, why can’t she be accepted as a family member? Why not you become her parents and not just guardians and treat her equal? Why not make the life easier?

When a girl comes into a new family, you expect her to change as per her new family members, what if, each member of her new family change themselves 1% and she also changes herself according to them, don’t you think life will be easier for both.

She needs love and care, money and materials can be earned. Treat her as a life and not as a commodity. Remember, she was also born a daughter to someone, just like your son, she too was living to fulfil the dream of her parents . Give her the freedom to express and accept her opinions just like you do for your son. Don’t make her the queen of the house but at least give her the priority to express herself.

Speak less, don’t raise your voice, we don’t do it this way, we don’t follow this tradition, we don’t eat this and that, etc. etc. etc. are some common jargons which become the part of her life. Please exempt her from all this, allow her to speak her heart, let her stand for what is right, support her and at the same time advise her when she is wrong ad trust me you will not have a daughter-in-law rather you will have a daughter living with you.

I know it would have been too heavy to read such heart-pounding lines but trust me most of the women in our country are living this life, killing their dreams every day. Her new life should bring new hopes and new dreams and not end what she had always wanted. If you are blessed with a good life, it’s time that you spread the awareness and guide those who are still dwelling in the dungeons of old thoughts.  Help to change the dialogue from, “ Agle Janam Mohe Bitiya Na Kijo” to “Agle Janam Mohe Bitiya Hi Kijo.” Coz somebody’s Bitiya becomes your Bahu.

 

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“I Fear a Relapse”, Says Deepika Padukone. 1357

The trailer of the most awaited Padmavati movie was released making us wait on a tiptoe for the movie to be released soon which is actually on December 1st, 2017 (See the trailer here). While on-screen Rani Padmini fights for her honor, the actress who plays the role, Deepika Padukone is fighting altogether a different battle in her real life.

While shooting for the Happy New Year movie, Deepika was fighting her inner battle of depression. Although she did not realize it then. Her mother who came to visit felt there was something wrong and requested Anna Chandy, a psychiatrist from Bengaluru to talk to her daughter. Though Deepika ignored it for a period of time, she finally recognized her problem and took steps to cure it. However, in a recent event, while talking about the Jauhar scene of Rani Padmini in the movie Padmavati, she revealed that she lives in a constant fear of a relapse of depression. She said “ I don’t think, I am completely over it. There is always a fear of relapse as that phase when it happened is the worst experience in my life”.

Since her opening up about her condition in public, there are numerous articles written about depression and there are plenty of suggestion available for someone who is looking for help. But, the truth is a lot many of the population who are suffering from depression do not know that they have it and they need help. Most of them try to think it is nothing but stress, fatigue and they are over-worked.

Like Deepika said in one of her interviews earlier while talking about her feelings during the time, being sad and being depressed are two different things. When someone is sad, they look sad, but when someone is depressed, most of the times they hide it. They try to behave normally while the feeling of emptiness keeps nagging at them. You do not have to be poor or have to lose something in life to be depressed. Sometimes the feeling of depression has no reason.

How to recognize the signs?

When someone is depressed, you may notice certain changes in them. Such as,

  • Less interested in daily activities
  • Loss of appetite and weight changes (can lose or gain)
  • being angry and irritable most of the times
  • less energised
  • self-loathing
  • reckless behaviors
  • Change in sleeping patterns

These are some of the changes we notice in a depressed person, not for few days but on a regular basis. If you spot these in someone or if you are facing it yourself, get help. There is no age or gender who are affected by depression.

Recognizing and understanding the symptoms of depression is the first step to finding a solution. Once you know, meet a good psychiatrist and get help. There is no shame in finding help to cure a mental illness. We meet our doctors for physical illness. In the same way, sometimes our mind also need that extra help too.

Do not, I repeat do not ever be afraid to ask for help!!! Because you might be surprised that there are so many good people around you who really care and want to help you.

Marriage – the funniest ironical institution in India 221

Many people would not be able to figure out the mistake in the following figure. Well, there is no grammatical mistake, there is no printing error or any other fault in it. If you still haven’t figured it out, I have an answer for you, I would like you to face the ironical reality of the modern world or the 21st century where the thoughts and ideologies of Paleolithic age still prevails.

Women have always been considered as a pillar of the society, we have given her various names, we worship her, pamper her and consider her to be the live giver; there is nothing wrong in it. However, it blows my mind to see such kind of ideas still prevail in the society. I personally feel that a woman gets a chance to change her life, the first time she is born, the second time her life changes when she gets married and the third time she changes her life when she gives birth to a new life. But, amidst all this ebb and flow of life cycle, why is there a question that she needs to answer every time. Why is there a need to prove that she can equally love her parent and in-laws? Well, if you feel that I am proclaiming something different, then you must have a look at the picture here.

I find arrange marriages to be the funniest institution in India. Irrespective of the fact that I am a party to it, I still believe that it has some funny traditions and beliefs flowing in it. I would like to highlight a few-

  • The first thing that we say in India is, “Shaadi hamesha barabari ke khaandaan mein honi chahiye (One should get married in a family who is equal in status with the other),” Well, if that is true, why this equivalence is only restricted to money, why no one questions on thoughts, beliefs, ideas, vision etc. Yes, money is important to run a family, but imagine a situation where you have a big house, a big car etc. but both husband and wife are never on the same page. Is that the mantra for a happy married life? At least I don’t feel so.
  • Another popular phrase which we commonly here during the marriage is that “Shaadi to parivaaro ka mail hai ( Marriage is not between two people, it is the bonding of two families,” if that is so, why a girl has to put her in-laws first and ignore her parents. If that’s not the truth, I would again request you to run through the picture above. Why can’t both the families co-exist. Although, things are changing, the ground reality is different.
  • One of the common things I have heard is, “ Ladki ko sasural ke hisab se adjust karna chahiye (girl must learn to compromise and live as per her in-laws and husband),” there is nothing wrong in it and I too believe in it, but what if we tweaked this scenario, like both the parties can make slight adjustments so that everyone is happy and the guy or the husband doesn’t have to take sides.

What I have written is not new or neither revolutionary, I have actually started to find our society to be hilarious. We are never in a phase to create an equal world, rather we always pester on the fact that one has to be above, I think this hierarchical ideology is still haunting us since the time of Britishers. I don’t know how much change will come in the times to come, but, even if one person transforms after reading this, I will feel content.