Arranged Marriage Vs Love Marriage-Which is better? 7

A couple of days back someone sent a forwarded text in a whats app group, which was meant to be a joke that read,

I told someone, OMG! Arranged marriage? How can you marry someone without knowing?

The reply was, OMG! Love marriage? How can you marry someone even after knowing? (Multiple smilies)

After this message was read by a few friends in the group who are married after being in love for years got offended and started to defend themselves explaining how it is love marriage the better choice than the arranged marriage. This is one of the hot topics in India always because arranged marriages are seen more here than in other parts of the world. Although the trend of arranged marriages are fast changing that people are more educated and independent that they do not need their parents to look for a partner for them anymore.

However, most fail to understand that the institution of marriage is something that needs much patience for learning every day of your life. There are advantages and disadvantages in both the kind of marriage. I agree, tying a knot to a stranger is scarier when we do not even know the person. But marriage is all about getting to know a wonderful relationship with someone in our lives.

Love marriage

The feeling of marrying the person who you have always loved is just so wonderful. You know each other interests, you already respect each other’s likes and dislikes, you know everything, from A to Z about each other. It is truly a gift to marry that someone who already knows you well enough and ready to make the commitment. But, remember the couple is responsible for its choice and onus of the blame in future lies on the couple only and nobody else.

When you are in love, it is only you two and everything goes well but, watch out, you did not know each other well enough with a child, well enough about respecting each other parents and family, well enough treating other important people in your lives and so on about things that happen after marriage. And that is why we see so many failed love marriages.  Your marriage works only depending on how you work on building a strong relationship after marriage.

Arranged Marriage

Standing on the marriage hall podium you tie the knot to that someone who is literally a stranger. You never know, what the person interests, likes, dislikes, strengths, weakness, etc. Yet you get ready to be married believing your parents and all elders who have made this choice for you based on education, job, families etc. There is a high chance for things to go wrong. You may start hating everything he or she does after marriage. But there is also a lot of chances that you may fall in love, with everything your husband or wife does. It’s getting to know the person slowly, day by day, learning about each other, and making adjustments all the same. Again here marriage needs work and adjustments. One cannot live happily when you do not make those commitments and adjustments. So, an arranged marriage fails or works only depending on how you work on it after marriage.

In conclusion, whether you know the person or not before marriage; love marriage or arranged marriage; it always comes down to how you make it work. There are plenty of people who get separated after being in love for more than a decade of years. There are plenty of couples happily married and as strong in love even after 30-40 years of an arranged marriage.

So dear friends, do not ever compare yourself. Make adjustments, make changes, know your partner well before coming to any conclusions and fall in love, again and again, every day. Just stand by each other’s side on good days and stand even closer on bad days. Love marriage or arranged marriage, you are in it for togetherness!!

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Why is ‘Adoption’ unapproved by society for an unmarried single parent? 1373

I was preparing for sleep last night when my friend Asmi called me up. She was sounding flustered. More than flustered, there was a rage in her voice. It happens rarely that Asmi cries. She is 30, strong, self-reliant and a career-oriented woman. She didn’t marry because she chose not to marry. There is no catastrophic heartbreak story behind. Her focus has always been on her career. She is practical and staunched.

I understood her heart is really heavy else there has never been any place for tears in her eyes.

I quizzed her the reason.

“I am not crying because am sad, I am crying because am helpless and exasperated.” Asmi retorted.

I didn’t interrupt and allowed her to put her heart out.

“Preeti, I called my mother last night and had an argument with her.” she continued.

“I told my mother that I want to adopt a baby. Before I could say anything further she started yelling at me. She scolded me saying, Asmi already because of your decision of not getting married we are in pain. Why are you adding troubles to our lives? If you really want to adopt a baby just forget us. We have to live in this society and will have to answer people around. You have always done whatever you want but this time you are crossing your limits.

If not today, maybe tomorrow you will get married. Who will marry a girl with one child? Such things appear good in movies only. You better start focusing on marriage now. Preeti, My mother wasn’t even ready to listen to my thoughts”. Asmi started sobbing.

I really had no words to console her. Her thoughts were irreproachable and valiant.

But we cannot even disregard the fact that we live in a hypocrite society. When celebrities like Sushmita, Angelina, Sunny and more adopt a baby, we eulogize, lionize, praise their thoughts and we consider it as an act of kindness. We appreciate their humanity. We deduce that they gave a new life to someone. But when anyone from our own house even thinks of adoption we make them go through ignominy by coming up with the questions like is there any medical issue? Are you not straight? Why don’t you marry and then plan your own baby? Why are you trying to shame your parents? Why don’t you understand this baby won’t be your own blood? Are you kidding? Etc.

I’ve read somewhere that parenthood requires love and not DNA. I wish we really understand that. Your genes won’t define your family, our family is built with love care and respect. There are many people who do have a heart for adoption but fear comes in between. Fear of society.

I wish people understand that adopting a baby whether you are single or married isn’t a crime.

Adoption will not only give a baby a family but will also give us a special feeling. A feeling of being human. Probably the purpose we all are here for, giving life a life.

 

Movie Review: SIMRAN 2777

Queen, Tanu Weds Manu, Tanu Weds Manu Returns and now Simran, Kangna is on a rout, she has proven time and again that she is one of the best actresses available today. She has made a mark for herself in the film industry synonymous to that made by Sridevi, that, of doing movies which are female-centric, of movies which revolve around themselves (Judaai, Chaalbaz, Lamhe, Laadla to name a few). The only difference though being, all the movies had an extremely strong supporting cast. Kangna has to be given accolades to run a movie entirely on her very own shoulders, and this is not the first time either, we bow to you Kangna, you deserve the Best Actress Award for this one.

Kangna who plays Praful Patel is a gujju girl staying in Atlanta who likes herself be called as Prafff. Praf has a typical Gujarati accent and all my Gujju friends are going to love the Gujarati dialogues the movie carries, I know Gujarati and so I enjoyed it thoroughly.

Kangna is introduced from a housekeeping scene mopping and wiping floors and tables, there is just so much genuineness in that scene, it’s great to watch her there. When she goes to Vegas, her sleazy lines such as “are you tired, because you were running in my mind” are some great moments that bring about here innocence and wickedness both out at the same time.

In the red dress in Vegas, she looks gorgeous, she dazzles and ravishes like a diva and is super cute when she puts on her very native gujju accent “Halo, I aem Praeffff…” she just steals your attention away throughout the movie. A song in the movie titled “Lagdi Hai Thaai” sung by Guru Randhawa aptly describes what Simran is in the movie.

The best thing about this movie is that it has a good storyline and director Hansal Mehta pulls it off amazingly with Kangna. The first hour of the movie just zips its way through with Kangna showcasing her bubbly self, her expressions at an expensive store, her bargaining at the street shop and then her equivalence of the pink champagne and fries at the bartender, there are too many funny and hilarious moments. It’s the second half that becomes a tad serious but since the movie is almost 2 hrs, it doesn’t feel to be stretched at any point of time.

There are some points where you wonder if it is really possible to learn a bank robbery from YouTube and execute a heist, but those go in the movie stride and you really don’t mind these.

The movie touches important points related to the American Dream that much of our Indian Community has and exposes that it might not be true for everyone, it may turn out to be just a Dream for some. The nagging father of Kangna performs well and Sohum Shah is where I think a popular Bollywood actor would have benefited more, but Sohum looks original, he is simple and he looked like a studios guy from a small town in Gujarat, he does justice to his role.

But it’s Kangna and Kangna and Kangna stealing away the show, she is setting new benchmarks which are extremely difficult to surpass when it comes to ACTING. She is fantabulous and the heart of this movie.

She carries it on her shoulders all alone and she delivers a power-packed punch.

Music is good and hummable.

There is actually no one else to talk about in the movie, the movie has absolutely no supporting cast, but trust me, it wasn’t needed as well. The movie is about Simran, and it talks about Simran, hats off to Kangna, this one’s a Kohinoor in the QUEEN’S CROWN. 🙂

All in all, it’s an extremely light and a different movie with awesome Acting by Kangna. Watch it for Kangna.

Rating: 3.5/5.0

(0.5 points extra only and only for Kangna)