A couple of days back someone sent a forwarded text in a whats app group, which was meant to be a joke that read,
I told someone, OMG! Arranged marriage? How can you marry someone without knowing?
The reply was, OMG! Love marriage? How can you marry someone even after knowing? (Multiple smilies)
After this message was read by a few friends in the group who are married after being in love for years got offended and started to defend themselves explaining how it is love marriage the better choice than the arranged marriage. This is one of the hot topics in India always because arranged marriages are seen more here than in other parts of the world. Although the trend of arranged marriages are fast changing that people are more educated and independent that they do not need their parents to look for a partner for them anymore.
However, most fail to understand that the institution of marriage is something that needs much patience for learning every day of your life. There are advantages and disadvantages in both the kind of marriage. I agree, tying a knot to a stranger is scarier when we do not even know the person. But marriage is all about getting to know a wonderful relationship with someone in our lives.
The feeling of marrying the person who you have always loved is just so wonderful. You know each other interests, you already respect each other’s likes and dislikes, you know everything, from A to Z about each other. It is truly a gift to marry that someone who already knows you well enough and ready to make the commitment. But, remember the couple is responsible for its choice and onus of the blame in future lies on the couple only and nobody else.
When you are in love, it is only you two and everything goes well but, watch out, you did not know each other well enough with a child, well enough about respecting each other parents and family, well enough treating other important people in your lives and so on about things that happen after marriage. And that is why we see so many failed love marriages. Your marriage works only depending on how you work on building a strong relationship after marriage.
Standing on the marriage hall podium you tie the knot to that someone who is literally a stranger. You never know, what the person interests, likes, dislikes, strengths, weakness, etc. Yet you get ready to be married believing your parents and all elders who have made this choice for you based on education, job, families etc. There is a high chance for things to go wrong. You may start hating everything he or she does after marriage. But there is also a lot of chances that you may fall in love, with everything your husband or wife does. It’s getting to know the person slowly, day by day, learning about each other, and making adjustments all the same. Again here marriage needs work and adjustments. One cannot live happily when you do not make those commitments and adjustments. So, an arranged marriage fails or works only depending on how you work on it after marriage.
In conclusion, whether you know the person or not before marriage; love marriage or arranged marriage; it always comes down to how you make it work. There are plenty of people who get separated after being in love for more than a decade of years. There are plenty of couples happily married and as strong in love even after 30-40 years of an arranged marriage.
So dear friends, do not ever compare yourself. Make adjustments, make changes, know your partner well before coming to any conclusions and fall in love, again and again, every day. Just stand by each other’s side on good days and stand even closer on bad days. Love marriage or arranged marriage, you are in it for togetherness!!