Backbiting – a recreational activity for few. 83

It was just a coincidence that I had a heartbreaking exposure to few painful statements by my colleagues at office and I came across an awesome quote on social media as if God answered me and showed me a way out.

The quote said,

Excuse me, here’s your nose. I found it in my business.

And I was really inspired to write my observations to you.

Backbiting is the most common ‘Viral’ disease that’s found everywhere because its content gets viral without any media or channel 😉 . And as a part of this society, this is our right to find faults in whomsoever, we may want to.

Talking about jurisdiction of gossips and backbiting, it varies from looks, personal & professional lives to social behavior and everything you do or think under the sun. Let me talk about few-

Looks: –

If you are good looking, wear trendy colorful clothes, then you are always ready for the party. If you dress up in simple attires then you lack dress sense.

If you look charming, then you are very conscious about your skin, hair etc. you might be a spendthrift, if you are having any problem regarding your skin, hair and looks then you are a miser to spend some money for maintaining good looks.

Oh…dear gossipers! Please take a break!

Personal life: –

Gossipers need to poke their nose in every issue no matter how personal it is!! The irresistibility of the topic is directly proportional to the depth of it’s being personal. 😉 More the personal, more spicy it is!!

If you have some dispute with your spouse or family, you will find fewer people to help solve it but many ‘those’ types are there to enlarge the pit of conflict. You will be surely entitled to all the blames as soon as you leave the place.

Office gossip: –

Ahha…the most wider one!! There is soooo of much time people have in your office to discuss your faults and inefficiencies.

If you are favorite to your Boss, you are a pleaser and a super buttering guy.

If carefree, then a doodle.

Miscellaneous gossip:-

Any girl that is picked up or dropped by her friend that happens to be a boy, is definitely her boyfriend.

Girls who are chirpy & friendly and God forbid, if in short clothes, high heels, colored streaks are ultra modern, freely available and those introverts with simple looks is a ‘behenji’ type who really lacks dressing sense….and everything else. 😐

Behavior chart: –

If you like to smile often, you are tested on set norms for youth. If you don’t smile, you are arrogant and proudy.

Any change(good, bad) in your behavior is a matter of investigation. Indian relatives are very judgemental and are under the burden of saving society from the western impact, so you can’t protect yourself from their conversations. Your behavior with parents, siblings, home care, cooking, hygiene all is viewed microscopically and in comparison with their wards mostly named like, Monty, Goldy, Simmi, Sandy and Sweety. ‘Hamare bacche to aise,vaise, kamaal’ and so on. After effects of their arrival last long and most of the time result in mummy’s favorite emotional dialogue accompanied with wet eyes “ humne tumhare liye kya nahi kia, fir bhi logo ki baatein sun ni padti hae”. 😉

On serious notes, my point of writing this was only to …Let ‘them’ go to hell and just be yourself.

No one is perfect so why not confuse them with your mysterious smile.:)

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“I Fear a Relapse”, Says Deepika Padukone. 1357

The trailer of the most awaited Padmavati movie was released making us wait on a tiptoe for the movie to be released soon which is actually on December 1st, 2017 (See the trailer here). While on-screen Rani Padmini fights for her honor, the actress who plays the role, Deepika Padukone is fighting altogether a different battle in her real life.

While shooting for the Happy New Year movie, Deepika was fighting her inner battle of depression. Although she did not realize it then. Her mother who came to visit felt there was something wrong and requested Anna Chandy, a psychiatrist from Bengaluru to talk to her daughter. Though Deepika ignored it for a period of time, she finally recognized her problem and took steps to cure it. However, in a recent event, while talking about the Jauhar scene of Rani Padmini in the movie Padmavati, she revealed that she lives in a constant fear of a relapse of depression. She said “ I don’t think, I am completely over it. There is always a fear of relapse as that phase when it happened is the worst experience in my life”.

Since her opening up about her condition in public, there are numerous articles written about depression and there are plenty of suggestion available for someone who is looking for help. But, the truth is a lot many of the population who are suffering from depression do not know that they have it and they need help. Most of them try to think it is nothing but stress, fatigue and they are over-worked.

Like Deepika said in one of her interviews earlier while talking about her feelings during the time, being sad and being depressed are two different things. When someone is sad, they look sad, but when someone is depressed, most of the times they hide it. They try to behave normally while the feeling of emptiness keeps nagging at them. You do not have to be poor or have to lose something in life to be depressed. Sometimes the feeling of depression has no reason.

How to recognize the signs?

When someone is depressed, you may notice certain changes in them. Such as,

  • Less interested in daily activities
  • Loss of appetite and weight changes (can lose or gain)
  • being angry and irritable most of the times
  • less energised
  • self-loathing
  • reckless behaviors
  • Change in sleeping patterns

These are some of the changes we notice in a depressed person, not for few days but on a regular basis. If you spot these in someone or if you are facing it yourself, get help. There is no age or gender who are affected by depression.

Recognizing and understanding the symptoms of depression is the first step to finding a solution. Once you know, meet a good psychiatrist and get help. There is no shame in finding help to cure a mental illness. We meet our doctors for physical illness. In the same way, sometimes our mind also need that extra help too.

Do not, I repeat do not ever be afraid to ask for help!!! Because you might be surprised that there are so many good people around you who really care and want to help you.

Marriage – the funniest ironical institution in India 221

Many people would not be able to figure out the mistake in the following figure. Well, there is no grammatical mistake, there is no printing error or any other fault in it. If you still haven’t figured it out, I have an answer for you, I would like you to face the ironical reality of the modern world or the 21st century where the thoughts and ideologies of Paleolithic age still prevails.

Women have always been considered as a pillar of the society, we have given her various names, we worship her, pamper her and consider her to be the live giver; there is nothing wrong in it. However, it blows my mind to see such kind of ideas still prevail in the society. I personally feel that a woman gets a chance to change her life, the first time she is born, the second time her life changes when she gets married and the third time she changes her life when she gives birth to a new life. But, amidst all this ebb and flow of life cycle, why is there a question that she needs to answer every time. Why is there a need to prove that she can equally love her parent and in-laws? Well, if you feel that I am proclaiming something different, then you must have a look at the picture here.

I find arrange marriages to be the funniest institution in India. Irrespective of the fact that I am a party to it, I still believe that it has some funny traditions and beliefs flowing in it. I would like to highlight a few-

  • The first thing that we say in India is, “Shaadi hamesha barabari ke khaandaan mein honi chahiye (One should get married in a family who is equal in status with the other),” Well, if that is true, why this equivalence is only restricted to money, why no one questions on thoughts, beliefs, ideas, vision etc. Yes, money is important to run a family, but imagine a situation where you have a big house, a big car etc. but both husband and wife are never on the same page. Is that the mantra for a happy married life? At least I don’t feel so.
  • Another popular phrase which we commonly here during the marriage is that “Shaadi to parivaaro ka mail hai ( Marriage is not between two people, it is the bonding of two families,” if that is so, why a girl has to put her in-laws first and ignore her parents. If that’s not the truth, I would again request you to run through the picture above. Why can’t both the families co-exist. Although, things are changing, the ground reality is different.
  • One of the common things I have heard is, “ Ladki ko sasural ke hisab se adjust karna chahiye (girl must learn to compromise and live as per her in-laws and husband),” there is nothing wrong in it and I too believe in it, but what if we tweaked this scenario, like both the parties can make slight adjustments so that everyone is happy and the guy or the husband doesn’t have to take sides.

What I have written is not new or neither revolutionary, I have actually started to find our society to be hilarious. We are never in a phase to create an equal world, rather we always pester on the fact that one has to be above, I think this hierarchical ideology is still haunting us since the time of Britishers. I don’t know how much change will come in the times to come, but, even if one person transforms after reading this, I will feel content.