Benefits of growing up with Brothers ! 304

I was born as a first child to my parents, followed by two brothers in next 5 years. Like all other siblings, we also grew up together playing, leg pulling and of course fighting with each other. My bonding with both of them was strong but as being eldest, I was bossy most of the time and had little, in fact, no understanding. But as we three grew and reached the teenage, I gradually developed that extra understanding of their behaviour.

In school too, I became more comfortable in the company of boys of my class than the girls.  Further, in my life when I started my career, I faced various challenges in this male dominant society and I am proud that I overcame them brilliantly. Sometimes, my female colleagues would ask, how I am so easy with males in office, without giving them ” wrong signals or having any pangas” and ” how come they are so nice to you without any ego or jealousy “, and I would say “the answer is my brothers”.

My childhood would have been incomplete without the company of my two brothers. Had they been girls( mine sisters) I can bet it would not have been that great! wink no offences, please!

I am not that girlie stuff that enjoyed on Barbies, their clothes and makeup and doll houses or their marriage, rather I was the one who would play football, basketball and cricket quite easily. Even my favourite magazines were “Sportstars” and “Topgear”.  Copying WWF stunts to make other one feel as a loser was common. Kite flying and playing with its string was normal. In all, the games and all the daring “panga’s” were very easy for me. This all made me good sportsperson, not like those girls who would get hurt if the ball hit their nails and in case they do not win, would simply surrender.

They definitely taught me how to rebel and not a mute spectator if something is not right, though they were my protectors always, but to accept other’s nonsense, is not acceptable ever. No doubt, I have always gone a step further to handle problems or face situations, since I know if anything goes wrong, my brothers are there for me on my side always! wink !

 Boys hardly express their love as girls or my sisters would have done, but for sure they love more than you expect from them. As grown ups, they would go out with their friends exploring new places, eateries and fun experiences. They would also bring back the food in a packing for me since they knew I was at home with parents and as for the society, girls do not have so much independence to roam about with her friends.
With them, I can talk anything from relationships, social issues, political issues, sports and entertainment. I have always understood their perspective on the topic of the discussion and even appreciated their views. Most of the time this constructive conversation has been truly valuable to me since it helps me to debate on certain topics publicly with correct facts.
Now that I am married and they are not (just about to), we four ( me, my husband n two brothers) hang out so nicely together. We four have lovely memories travelling to different places together, eating and partying together and yes, not to forget all the daring “pangas” together. I hope their wives also become the part of this gang and we may have fun together.
May God bless them always, for making my life so special and full of love and affection.  They have made me strong, bold and daring. Whenever I see two sisters, I wonder ” I am really not that sister girlie type”, lol zzz.




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“I Fear a Relapse”, Says Deepika Padukone. 1359

The trailer of the most awaited Padmavati movie was released making us wait on a tiptoe for the movie to be released soon which is actually on December 1st, 2017 (See the trailer here). While on-screen Rani Padmini fights for her honor, the actress who plays the role, Deepika Padukone is fighting altogether a different battle in her real life.

While shooting for the Happy New Year movie, Deepika was fighting her inner battle of depression. Although she did not realize it then. Her mother who came to visit felt there was something wrong and requested Anna Chandy, a psychiatrist from Bengaluru to talk to her daughter. Though Deepika ignored it for a period of time, she finally recognized her problem and took steps to cure it. However, in a recent event, while talking about the Jauhar scene of Rani Padmini in the movie Padmavati, she revealed that she lives in a constant fear of a relapse of depression. She said “ I don’t think, I am completely over it. There is always a fear of relapse as that phase when it happened is the worst experience in my life”.

Since her opening up about her condition in public, there are numerous articles written about depression and there are plenty of suggestion available for someone who is looking for help. But, the truth is a lot many of the population who are suffering from depression do not know that they have it and they need help. Most of them try to think it is nothing but stress, fatigue and they are over-worked.

Like Deepika said in one of her interviews earlier while talking about her feelings during the time, being sad and being depressed are two different things. When someone is sad, they look sad, but when someone is depressed, most of the times they hide it. They try to behave normally while the feeling of emptiness keeps nagging at them. You do not have to be poor or have to lose something in life to be depressed. Sometimes the feeling of depression has no reason.

How to recognize the signs?

When someone is depressed, you may notice certain changes in them. Such as,

  • Less interested in daily activities
  • Loss of appetite and weight changes (can lose or gain)
  • being angry and irritable most of the times
  • less energised
  • self-loathing
  • reckless behaviors
  • Change in sleeping patterns

These are some of the changes we notice in a depressed person, not for few days but on a regular basis. If you spot these in someone or if you are facing it yourself, get help. There is no age or gender who are affected by depression.

Recognizing and understanding the symptoms of depression is the first step to finding a solution. Once you know, meet a good psychiatrist and get help. There is no shame in finding help to cure a mental illness. We meet our doctors for physical illness. In the same way, sometimes our mind also need that extra help too.

Do not, I repeat do not ever be afraid to ask for help!!! Because you might be surprised that there are so many good people around you who really care and want to help you.

Marriage – the funniest ironical institution in India 225

Many people would not be able to figure out the mistake in the following figure. Well, there is no grammatical mistake, there is no printing error or any other fault in it. If you still haven’t figured it out, I have an answer for you, I would like you to face the ironical reality of the modern world or the 21st century where the thoughts and ideologies of Paleolithic age still prevails.

Women have always been considered as a pillar of the society, we have given her various names, we worship her, pamper her and consider her to be the live giver; there is nothing wrong in it. However, it blows my mind to see such kind of ideas still prevail in the society. I personally feel that a woman gets a chance to change her life, the first time she is born, the second time her life changes when she gets married and the third time she changes her life when she gives birth to a new life. But, amidst all this ebb and flow of life cycle, why is there a question that she needs to answer every time. Why is there a need to prove that she can equally love her parent and in-laws? Well, if you feel that I am proclaiming something different, then you must have a look at the picture here.

I find arrange marriages to be the funniest institution in India. Irrespective of the fact that I am a party to it, I still believe that it has some funny traditions and beliefs flowing in it. I would like to highlight a few-

  • The first thing that we say in India is, “Shaadi hamesha barabari ke khaandaan mein honi chahiye (One should get married in a family who is equal in status with the other),” Well, if that is true, why this equivalence is only restricted to money, why no one questions on thoughts, beliefs, ideas, vision etc. Yes, money is important to run a family, but imagine a situation where you have a big house, a big car etc. but both husband and wife are never on the same page. Is that the mantra for a happy married life? At least I don’t feel so.
  • Another popular phrase which we commonly here during the marriage is that “Shaadi to parivaaro ka mail hai ( Marriage is not between two people, it is the bonding of two families,” if that is so, why a girl has to put her in-laws first and ignore her parents. If that’s not the truth, I would again request you to run through the picture above. Why can’t both the families co-exist. Although, things are changing, the ground reality is different.
  • One of the common things I have heard is, “ Ladki ko sasural ke hisab se adjust karna chahiye (girl must learn to compromise and live as per her in-laws and husband),” there is nothing wrong in it and I too believe in it, but what if we tweaked this scenario, like both the parties can make slight adjustments so that everyone is happy and the guy or the husband doesn’t have to take sides.

What I have written is not new or neither revolutionary, I have actually started to find our society to be hilarious. We are never in a phase to create an equal world, rather we always pester on the fact that one has to be above, I think this hierarchical ideology is still haunting us since the time of Britishers. I don’t know how much change will come in the times to come, but, even if one person transforms after reading this, I will feel content.