Children in Nuclear Families. 4

Gone are the times when people stayed together under one huge house, altogether. Different jobs, different lifestyles, different requirements have moved people into different cities, which gave rise to the nuclear families. Everywhere we see, the families are more comfortable to stay away and alone with just the couples and children.

Busy and working lifestyle has made it hard for parents to give much of concentration on anything else outside their small family life and professional life. On a recent occasion, a friend of mine told me that her daughter does not prefer going to any family functions, as she finds it boring. My friend casually commented you know how today’s teenagers are? I wonder if there is a written rule book how teenagers should behave. If I am not wrong, the way today’s teenagers are something they have learned from us, the parents. We dismiss their behaviour blaming it on their age simply because we know it is not possible to correct ourselves.

So what are the things that need careful molding since an early age, so that they do not fall to the same teenage problems or teenage shyness?

Social gatherings

Attending a cousin marriage, family parties and other gatherings not only helps you to build good relations, but it will also help your child get along easily with older people. It is important to develop an attitude where you can easily converse with a person whatever their age might be. I understand it can be stressful at times, but this is one of those things we do it for the good of our children future. When we avoid gatherings, children obviously learn the same.

Athithi Devo Bhava

After a hard working day, you have just returned home and about to make yourself a cup of tea, the doorbell rings. With heavy heart you open it and to your horror, you find yourself face to face with an unexpected guest. It is definitely hard to treat such unexpected guests in such situations. However, try to be open as much as possible. Being isolated without any people around makes your children emotionally weak as well as isolated. Trust me on this, in future even they will be as unwelcoming as you are now.

Stressed-out

In a nuclear family of both working parents, it gets overly stressed out, as there will not be another person to share the work. For example, when a mother tries to be the cook, a maid, a babysitter, after spending hours in the office, it leaves less time to spend quality time with children and share the love. Welcoming another family member such as age-old parents and staying together will not only help your children to grow with love but also gives you a strong moral support.

Non-team player attitude

More the people, different the opinions. Children need to learn how to work it through conflicts and difference in opinions when in a team or group of people at the same time without disrespecting others. This gets difficult to learn in nuclear families as there are very fewer people who have different opinions. Usually, small families develop a certain boundary of like-minded thinking.

Although with many disadvantages, nuclear families are the most preferred because of the comfort, financial security, stability, and less stress. However, no families are perfect and it will always help to find ways to alleviate the problems of being a close-knit or an isolated family. After all, happiness is the ultimate goal of everyone. Help your children to learn the values of families, respecting their elders, and being a good and smart problem solver.

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Why is ‘Adoption’ unapproved by society for an unmarried single parent? 1373

I was preparing for sleep last night when my friend Asmi called me up. She was sounding flustered. More than flustered, there was a rage in her voice. It happens rarely that Asmi cries. She is 30, strong, self-reliant and a career-oriented woman. She didn’t marry because she chose not to marry. There is no catastrophic heartbreak story behind. Her focus has always been on her career. She is practical and staunched.

I understood her heart is really heavy else there has never been any place for tears in her eyes.

I quizzed her the reason.

“I am not crying because am sad, I am crying because am helpless and exasperated.” Asmi retorted.

I didn’t interrupt and allowed her to put her heart out.

“Preeti, I called my mother last night and had an argument with her.” she continued.

“I told my mother that I want to adopt a baby. Before I could say anything further she started yelling at me. She scolded me saying, Asmi already because of your decision of not getting married we are in pain. Why are you adding troubles to our lives? If you really want to adopt a baby just forget us. We have to live in this society and will have to answer people around. You have always done whatever you want but this time you are crossing your limits.

If not today, maybe tomorrow you will get married. Who will marry a girl with one child? Such things appear good in movies only. You better start focusing on marriage now. Preeti, My mother wasn’t even ready to listen to my thoughts”. Asmi started sobbing.

I really had no words to console her. Her thoughts were irreproachable and valiant.

But we cannot even disregard the fact that we live in a hypocrite society. When celebrities like Sushmita, Angelina, Sunny and more adopt a baby, we eulogize, lionize, praise their thoughts and we consider it as an act of kindness. We appreciate their humanity. We deduce that they gave a new life to someone. But when anyone from our own house even thinks of adoption we make them go through ignominy by coming up with the questions like is there any medical issue? Are you not straight? Why don’t you marry and then plan your own baby? Why are you trying to shame your parents? Why don’t you understand this baby won’t be your own blood? Are you kidding? Etc.

I’ve read somewhere that parenthood requires love and not DNA. I wish we really understand that. Your genes won’t define your family, our family is built with love care and respect. There are many people who do have a heart for adoption but fear comes in between. Fear of society.

I wish people understand that adopting a baby whether you are single or married isn’t a crime.

Adoption will not only give a baby a family but will also give us a special feeling. A feeling of being human. Probably the purpose we all are here for, giving life a life.

 

Movie Review: SIMRAN 2777

Queen, Tanu Weds Manu, Tanu Weds Manu Returns and now Simran, Kangna is on a rout, she has proven time and again that she is one of the best actresses available today. She has made a mark for herself in the film industry synonymous to that made by Sridevi, that, of doing movies which are female-centric, of movies which revolve around themselves (Judaai, Chaalbaz, Lamhe, Laadla to name a few). The only difference though being, all the movies had an extremely strong supporting cast. Kangna has to be given accolades to run a movie entirely on her very own shoulders, and this is not the first time either, we bow to you Kangna, you deserve the Best Actress Award for this one.

Kangna who plays Praful Patel is a gujju girl staying in Atlanta who likes herself be called as Prafff. Praf has a typical Gujarati accent and all my Gujju friends are going to love the Gujarati dialogues the movie carries, I know Gujarati and so I enjoyed it thoroughly.

Kangna is introduced from a housekeeping scene mopping and wiping floors and tables, there is just so much genuineness in that scene, it’s great to watch her there. When she goes to Vegas, her sleazy lines such as “are you tired, because you were running in my mind” are some great moments that bring about here innocence and wickedness both out at the same time.

In the red dress in Vegas, she looks gorgeous, she dazzles and ravishes like a diva and is super cute when she puts on her very native gujju accent “Halo, I aem Praeffff…” she just steals your attention away throughout the movie. A song in the movie titled “Lagdi Hai Thaai” sung by Guru Randhawa aptly describes what Simran is in the movie.

The best thing about this movie is that it has a good storyline and director Hansal Mehta pulls it off amazingly with Kangna. The first hour of the movie just zips its way through with Kangna showcasing her bubbly self, her expressions at an expensive store, her bargaining at the street shop and then her equivalence of the pink champagne and fries at the bartender, there are too many funny and hilarious moments. It’s the second half that becomes a tad serious but since the movie is almost 2 hrs, it doesn’t feel to be stretched at any point of time.

There are some points where you wonder if it is really possible to learn a bank robbery from YouTube and execute a heist, but those go in the movie stride and you really don’t mind these.

The movie touches important points related to the American Dream that much of our Indian Community has and exposes that it might not be true for everyone, it may turn out to be just a Dream for some. The nagging father of Kangna performs well and Sohum Shah is where I think a popular Bollywood actor would have benefited more, but Sohum looks original, he is simple and he looked like a studios guy from a small town in Gujarat, he does justice to his role.

But it’s Kangna and Kangna and Kangna stealing away the show, she is setting new benchmarks which are extremely difficult to surpass when it comes to ACTING. She is fantabulous and the heart of this movie.

She carries it on her shoulders all alone and she delivers a power-packed punch.

Music is good and hummable.

There is actually no one else to talk about in the movie, the movie has absolutely no supporting cast, but trust me, it wasn’t needed as well. The movie is about Simran, and it talks about Simran, hats off to Kangna, this one’s a Kohinoor in the QUEEN’S CROWN. 🙂

All in all, it’s an extremely light and a different movie with awesome Acting by Kangna. Watch it for Kangna.

Rating: 3.5/5.0

(0.5 points extra only and only for Kangna)