Complications Even the Happiest Couples Deal With… 392

At times after having a big fight or an argument with your partner you get that feeling, things aren’t working out, because happy couples don’t fight. If you have felt so, then you will be surprised to know there is nothing called as ‘perfect couple’ exists and if a couple claims themselves to be, then either they don’t want to accept it or they haven’t discovered it yet. No relationship is without complications the only difference with happy couples is they know how to deal with it. Before you blame yourself to be unperfect, allow me to wash off your myth coz you…..

1. You’re Two Different Personalities

This is such a simple observation, no matter how many things you both have in common, but you should accept that you are two different people and will have clashes on few things. Accepting this fact can minimize the unnecessary conflicts which take place when you force your partner to do or see things the way you do.

2. Not Thinking Before Speaking

When we are angry, this is something we all do, at times a person who doesn’t lose his calm easily blurts out hurtful statements which he didn’t mean and regrets after saying. In this situation, you must learn to let go, this will help in reducing arguments and resentment.

3. Not Liking or Being Liked by Your Partner’s Family

It’s completely normal to be not liked by one of your partner’s family member, but that doesn’t mean you should stop him from hanging out with them or he should force you to start liking them. The same applies to the situation if one of his friend or family member doesn’t like you. The key is, agree to disagree.

4. Feeling Like Your Relationship Has Lost the Spark

After a couple of years, every happy couple feels this, that their relationship is losing its’s spark. He may not get excited about the ‘monthly anniversary’ like before or vice versa. You might feel like there is no excitement left and he isn’t attracted to anymore. Here you must understand that as time passes priorities and responsibilities change thus, both of you should work together to rekindle that spark. Vacations are always the best idea…;)

5. Dealing with Mood Swings

We all get stressed out at work and rarely get a chance to vent it out the very moment. There is a possibility your partner is having those rough days at the office and you find him complaining and cribbing about every small thing. This might irritate you, but you must remain calm and understand that now he needs your love and care more than ever. Happy couples show that they’re there for each other. Don’t they?

6. Handling Conflict

As I mentioned, two people have different personalities, so its’s obvious they will deal with conflict differently. One partner may prefer staying alone with his/her thoughts, while the other may prefer to talk about it immediately. As a couple, both of you must understand this and find a way that is agreeable by both to solve the conflict.

I hope I did my part in making you understand the ‘happy couple’ theory. Now, it’s your call, whether to keep playing a blame game or to handle your relationship as a smart adult.

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“I Fear a Relapse”, Says Deepika Padukone. 1357

The trailer of the most awaited Padmavati movie was released making us wait on a tiptoe for the movie to be released soon which is actually on December 1st, 2017 (See the trailer here). While on-screen Rani Padmini fights for her honor, the actress who plays the role, Deepika Padukone is fighting altogether a different battle in her real life.

While shooting for the Happy New Year movie, Deepika was fighting her inner battle of depression. Although she did not realize it then. Her mother who came to visit felt there was something wrong and requested Anna Chandy, a psychiatrist from Bengaluru to talk to her daughter. Though Deepika ignored it for a period of time, she finally recognized her problem and took steps to cure it. However, in a recent event, while talking about the Jauhar scene of Rani Padmini in the movie Padmavati, she revealed that she lives in a constant fear of a relapse of depression. She said “ I don’t think, I am completely over it. There is always a fear of relapse as that phase when it happened is the worst experience in my life”.

Since her opening up about her condition in public, there are numerous articles written about depression and there are plenty of suggestion available for someone who is looking for help. But, the truth is a lot many of the population who are suffering from depression do not know that they have it and they need help. Most of them try to think it is nothing but stress, fatigue and they are over-worked.

Like Deepika said in one of her interviews earlier while talking about her feelings during the time, being sad and being depressed are two different things. When someone is sad, they look sad, but when someone is depressed, most of the times they hide it. They try to behave normally while the feeling of emptiness keeps nagging at them. You do not have to be poor or have to lose something in life to be depressed. Sometimes the feeling of depression has no reason.

How to recognize the signs?

When someone is depressed, you may notice certain changes in them. Such as,

  • Less interested in daily activities
  • Loss of appetite and weight changes (can lose or gain)
  • being angry and irritable most of the times
  • less energised
  • self-loathing
  • reckless behaviors
  • Change in sleeping patterns

These are some of the changes we notice in a depressed person, not for few days but on a regular basis. If you spot these in someone or if you are facing it yourself, get help. There is no age or gender who are affected by depression.

Recognizing and understanding the symptoms of depression is the first step to finding a solution. Once you know, meet a good psychiatrist and get help. There is no shame in finding help to cure a mental illness. We meet our doctors for physical illness. In the same way, sometimes our mind also need that extra help too.

Do not, I repeat do not ever be afraid to ask for help!!! Because you might be surprised that there are so many good people around you who really care and want to help you.

Marriage – the funniest ironical institution in India 221

Many people would not be able to figure out the mistake in the following figure. Well, there is no grammatical mistake, there is no printing error or any other fault in it. If you still haven’t figured it out, I have an answer for you, I would like you to face the ironical reality of the modern world or the 21st century where the thoughts and ideologies of Paleolithic age still prevails.

Women have always been considered as a pillar of the society, we have given her various names, we worship her, pamper her and consider her to be the live giver; there is nothing wrong in it. However, it blows my mind to see such kind of ideas still prevail in the society. I personally feel that a woman gets a chance to change her life, the first time she is born, the second time her life changes when she gets married and the third time she changes her life when she gives birth to a new life. But, amidst all this ebb and flow of life cycle, why is there a question that she needs to answer every time. Why is there a need to prove that she can equally love her parent and in-laws? Well, if you feel that I am proclaiming something different, then you must have a look at the picture here.

I find arrange marriages to be the funniest institution in India. Irrespective of the fact that I am a party to it, I still believe that it has some funny traditions and beliefs flowing in it. I would like to highlight a few-

  • The first thing that we say in India is, “Shaadi hamesha barabari ke khaandaan mein honi chahiye (One should get married in a family who is equal in status with the other),” Well, if that is true, why this equivalence is only restricted to money, why no one questions on thoughts, beliefs, ideas, vision etc. Yes, money is important to run a family, but imagine a situation where you have a big house, a big car etc. but both husband and wife are never on the same page. Is that the mantra for a happy married life? At least I don’t feel so.
  • Another popular phrase which we commonly here during the marriage is that “Shaadi to parivaaro ka mail hai ( Marriage is not between two people, it is the bonding of two families,” if that is so, why a girl has to put her in-laws first and ignore her parents. If that’s not the truth, I would again request you to run through the picture above. Why can’t both the families co-exist. Although, things are changing, the ground reality is different.
  • One of the common things I have heard is, “ Ladki ko sasural ke hisab se adjust karna chahiye (girl must learn to compromise and live as per her in-laws and husband),” there is nothing wrong in it and I too believe in it, but what if we tweaked this scenario, like both the parties can make slight adjustments so that everyone is happy and the guy or the husband doesn’t have to take sides.

What I have written is not new or neither revolutionary, I have actually started to find our society to be hilarious. We are never in a phase to create an equal world, rather we always pester on the fact that one has to be above, I think this hierarchical ideology is still haunting us since the time of Britishers. I don’t know how much change will come in the times to come, but, even if one person transforms after reading this, I will feel content.