Dear stress, let’s break up! 20

Every new year without fail…let me correct that, every Sunday, without fail I tell myself that miss, the only problem in your life is that you overthink a lot. Stop overthinking…life is not all that difficult as you make it.  And after two days, without fail, I am back, back to square-one.

**hands up if you do the same**
Now click on share button. 😛

Jokes apart, overthinking is a vicious vicious thing, it ruins your life before you realize it. It will creep in at the night when you stalk your ex and will stay there…FOREVER.

Here is a small poem I wrote on one of those Sundays.

It is a confusion
Maybe it has a simple solution, a simple answer
Maybe I am just too occupied
Occupied thinking about the problem
When I should be looking for
Solutions.
I make it sound like a math problem
It is just life-decision awaits.
Confusion is a state of mind, no?
How difficult it is to have no expectations and not to overthink
To dance and kiss all your problems
Away and out of your lives.

Well it is easy to say that life would be stress-free if we think less, worry less, and just live but can we stop worrying less, thinking less? No, we cannot coz that is what makes us human. The important thing however is to apply your mind where it deserves to be put in, not on useless things like how good XYZ chick was looking today while you were walking in your PJs…how well Guptaji’s son performed and yours was a…!

Life is much more than that. Just get your priorities straight people coz you have as many hours in a day as Beyonce. 😉

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Life Changing Lessons From Krishna! 334

Have you ever been at a crossroads, confused about which direction to take… wondered if you needed to quit or continue, leave or stay, do or not do, act or just wait till things tide over? Being in doubt is a common phenomenon, more often than not, it’s an everyday experience. We’re constantly questioning ourselves even in small simple acts… we’re playing out these mini wars in our mind. Aren’t we??

Today on the holy day of Krishna Janmashtami, I would like to take this opportunity to share few awe inspiring teachings from Bhagavad Gita. Trust me, this helps!

No wonder Bhagavad Gita, continues to be looked upon as the “manual of life”. It is not only a sacred book for Hindus but also used by many organizations for better management and is even included in the syllabus of some business schools.

Here are few teachings from the Bhagavad Gita and Krishna’s life and on a deeper thought, you can use them to resolve your own uncertainties, doubts, fears, and confusions.

Think with a calm mind

The first step to gaining clarity on any situation is developing a clear, calm and collected mind. This takes a lot of effort. One way is meditation, another is by distancing yourself from the situation – not physically but mentally – where you look at it as an outsider and have a bird’s eye view of it.

Don’t give in to stress

Get rid of excessive worry, don’t take on more than you can cope with and add enough me-time in your day to help you de-stress.

Give up on results

Most of our decisions get affected because we wonder about their outcomes and consequences. But when you realize that you have little control over the final outcome and when you don’t focus on the gains, your efforts will be filled with more meaning.

Treat everyone equally

Treat everyone with the same lens of impartiality. Caste, color, religion etc are all man made.Spiritually speaking, there isn’t any difference between anyone. We are all one.

Act with conviction

Before you undertake any action, think about how strongly you believe in it.

Believe in Friendship

Love your friends irrespective of their status, caste and creed; it teaches us to help them in their bad times and not to mention the help; it teaches us to watch the back of a friend.

Believe in Yourself and the Almighty God

Have faith in yourself, believe in your talents, finally to believe in the supreme power i.e. The Almighty God”.

Listen to your Conscience

Our conscience never lies to us, it is unbiased and sometimes very rude when the truth is bitter, it is for the same reason why most of us refrain from hearing its voice.

Never give up on what you love

Krishna had a deep love for the flute, and he never stopped playing it just because of his commitments. Even during times of war, it was by his side.Hobbies and passions can breathe new life into us when we’re overwhelmed.

Being of service to our fellow man

No matter what, being of service to mankind is considered as being of service to God.

Selfless, unconditional love is the key

Not only did he bless those that offended him but he also practiced unconditional love while offering ‘mukti’ (enlightenment) to his devotees. His Life was all about divine love.

Taking One Day at a Time

Do not worry about past or future, just do your karma in present. It’s easy to get bogged down by challenging circumstances but staying mindful and in present can make things much easier.

Last but not the least…..

Man-mana bhava mad-bhakto mad-yaji mam namaskuru mam evaishyasi satyam te pratijane priyo ‘si me!

Be aware of me always, adore me, make every act an offering to me, and you shall come to me; this I (Krishna) promise, for you, are dear to me.

Happy Janamashtmi !!

God bless!

If you have the ability to love, Love Yourself first! 379

YES…..Marry yourself first.

The concept of loving oneself is not new. We have TED talks, articles and movies that are spreading more and more awareness about the importance of self-love. My induction into the concept happened some three years back when I was facing some personal challenges. The situations forced me to take a hard look at some patterns that I could not stop. I wanted answers and looked into the plethora of spiritual resources – Osho, TED talks, Buddhism, psychology studies. Even though my journey with self-love started long back, I can only now (after three years) say that I truly understand and live the concept.

The concept is very simple. We reflect our shortcomings on other people. When something bothers, upsets, anger, or just irritates us in another person, it is very rare outside of us. If someone else can upset you – you have given your power and energy away. Having realized this, I set on this mission to never let anyone else get under my skin. My approach was incorrect. I saw the symptom – which was my irritation – and I jumped to eliminating it. I did not spend time introspecting the cause of the irritation or anger in the first place. The cause was simple – I did not accept myself completely. I did not accept my shortcomings and flaws. Hence, when someone else triggered my flaws, I did not exhibit the awareness to understand, register and let the irritation go. Instead, I reacted.

How could this go on? I have family, friends, work colleagues. I spend time with all of them. However, the one person I do not get any rest from is myself. I have to live in my body, in my mind, in my soul – all my life. Even when I sleep, my overactive imagination sends messages through dreams! It is impossible to get away from myself and I would be a fool not to try loving myself!

Self-love does not work in isolation of self-work. In order to love myself, it was important for me to follow these three steps:

Introspect

A lot of introspection to helps me understand myself better. When I am not surrounded by people who validate my existence, how do I validate it on my own? Who am I when no one is watching? This was tough. Mix the social life in the city with work – you hardly spend time with yourself. I had to make conscious efforts of turning down invitations if my heart wanted to spend time with myself. Eventually, I could see a clear shift. From being restless with spending time with myself, I started enjoying my cuppa, book and diary. Now I am at a point that me-time is one of the most rejuvenating parts of my schedule.

Accept

Introspection is not always pretty. The process does not always involve a cup of coffee and a faint smile on the face. Introspection has a very honest face which exposes your shortcomings and flaws. Oh, how tough this stage was for me! I had been dealing with anger issues for a long time and only now was I beginning to understand that anger was just a symptom. There were layers of self-doubt and self-defense that had shifted my primary response to anger. I had to accept it and let go of the guilt with it. I saw myself as I was. Not as others saw me. The moment we think anyone is watching, we lose our true selves.

The reality is what is inside you. This step is the toughest. We are tuned to come up with excuses for our behavior – ‘the circumstances are tough, hence I act out’, ‘I have grown up seeing anger, hence I react with it too’, ‘nobody understands me’, ‘my work is demanding and I do not have time for feelings’. We are also tuned to protect ourselves – hence more often than not, our justification for reacting to a situation in a certain way will be very comforting. We forget to question in that moment why circumstances triggered the emotions we felt. That is key. Undiluted honesty.

Pat yourself on the back

However, another very important part of acceptance is giving yourself a pat on the back for the strength in your character. I maintain a gratefulness journal and every now and then, I would write down my strong qualities that had either been passed on by my parents or that I had built. I am grateful for being the person I am, albeit with flaws.

Transform

This part was easy. I knew my flaws. I understood them. I understood what triggered them. It was time to let go. I worked on letting go my anger and of transforming myself into a person I would want to spend time with. It is an ongoing life project and I can say it is the most rewarding one. I am building myself every day.

None of the above has a start and end date. It is a cyclical process. However, once you pass the first cycle truthfully, you will look at yourself in the mirror and feel happy with the person you see. I got married in Dec of last year and it is only recently this year that I could say with certainty that I love the person I have become and I would be happy to spend the rest of my life with myself.

People often confuse this self-love with selfishness. To those people, I would appeal – please go through the cycle J, your introspection might well reveal your inability to love yourself, triggering you to reject my ability to self-love. If in doubt, if in a reactive mode, just ask yourself – would you want to spend the rest of your life with this person?