Entrepreneurs, take care of your spouses!! 505

I am married to an entrepreneur and least to say – it is tough. The concept of wedded bliss is a hoax – we all know it by now. You realize the hoax sooner when you are married to an entrepreneur.

The four key things from my experience might not apply to every entrepreneur on this planet. It will apply to many-

Here are a few things entrepreneurs do wrong-

Expect support as a birthright:

Most entrepreneurs have inflated egos and a concept that spouse exists to support them. When I say support, I mean ‘everything’. Daily ups and downs in mood, financial turbulences, location changes. Most entrepreneurs forget that they cannot blindly demand support from spouse or family. Support is given at will. Support deserves immense gratitude in return

Refuse to accept that it was their own choice:

Probably the biggest of them all. The choice to start a company lies solely with the person choosing to do so. It is a personal and conscious choice made by an adult. The basic concept of adult life is that we pay for what we desire. The payment can be in the form of money or in the form of pain we take to achieve what is needed. At the age of 30 or above, it baffles me how entrepreneurs seem to forget this basic concept. It is hard. We all get it. It is your choice – you do not get it. You will have to take and accept the pains of not being on someone else’s payroll. Stop playing the victim. If you cannot stop – change the circumstances and take up a job

Impose their lifestyle on their spouse:

Again, living on the edge financially is your choice. Cutting back on expenses is your imperative. Your chosen path. Least you can do to return the support your spouse gives you is letting them live their lifestyle. If you have a working spouse who works hard to earn a living, the spouse deserves a good lifestyle. Here is your role as a spouse – something for you to consider and give back. Manage your need to cringe everytime your spouse spoils themselves by buying something you cannot afford to buy for them. They have earned it.

Disrespect the struggles of their spouse:

No matter how many investment refusals you got in one day. No matter the stress of the day. Somedays – maybe one day in a month, treat your spouse’s little trials and tribulations as worthwhile your attention. They are also living their life on this planet and their troubles are also real like yours. Respect their struggles even if they look minuscule to you just because you decided to start a company and they didn’t.

Marriage is a roller coaster ride, everybody knows but while married to an entrepreneur, just when you think you can handle this ride, your roller-coaster will veer off on a different set of tracks headed in an entirely new direction.

 

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Two Indian Females in news – Different Approach – Hypocrisy at its best! 2392

The past few days are buzzing with two important news and coincidently, both involve female. First news is related to controversy related to yet to be released Sanjay Leela Bhansali’s magnum opus ‘Padmavati’ starring an Indian female, Deepika Padukone, and the second news is about another Indian female, who has been crowned as the Miss World 2017, almost after a gap of 17 years.

Look at the irony …no, the more appropriate term would be ‘hypocrisy’. There are reasons as to why I (the educated Indian moron) brought this term intentionally.

Deepika Padukone owing to controversy related to Padmavati has been warned publicly of losing her nose as in the case of another mythological Sri Lankan female from Ramayana. These warnings were given by the self-proclaimed guardian of the society like me (pun intended). Few of the better-civilized guardian than me even went a step ahead and brandished their sword in one of the news studios. Owing to controversy, finally, the release date of the movie has now been deferred voluntarily by the filmmakers. The Central Board of Film Certification (CBFC) in its statement (with reference to Prasoon Joshi’s byte to the media) suggest that it needs time to settle the matter amicably and so on so forth.

Now, while all these events are in limelight and most of our prime-time news is focused on these issues of national importance.

There are no First Information Report (FIR) registered.

There are no tweets from any of the Government representatives.

The authorities, the politicians failed to utter a single word condemning the warning.

The women’s commission is also silent.

Let’s move on to the other story…… Manushi Chillar, aged 20 has been crowned as Miss World. Sounds Good! Isn’t it? Well, I welcome the news because it brought laurels to our country and we could watch more advertisement on ‘fairness cream’ (another priced obsession with ‘we’ Indians) with good looking models (including Manushi). Hope, my statement won’t be liable to any action from any of the commission representing women.

Anyways, now as soon as the news broke out our politicians were ready to test the ‘fastest fingers first ‘on twitter. Some branded her as “Haryana’s pride”, few others labeled ‘India’s honor’. I am not saying she isn’t. Few intellectuals were prompt to give the statement that it is the result of much publicized ‘beti padhao, beti bachao’.

Wow! Isn’t it amazing? Amazing because, the state from which Miss World is a domicile, has the worst record of honor killing, female infanticide and secondly, the programme ‘beti padhao, beti bachao’ began just three years ago and Manushi’s age is 20. So you folks are better equipped to comment on this.

One of the politicians was even brutally trolled and women’s commission summoned him just because he light-heartedly used Manushi’s surname to mock the demonetization. I said ‘light-hearted’ because haven’t we made fun of surnames or names of our friends/classmates in our childhood? And that’s the reason why Manushi herself took it sportingly and the issue went to a natural death.

So, for us, a warning to chop off a woman’s nose given publicly is really negligible but a child like comment( no obscenity) makes our blood boil as it is really a matter of National Shame…. We are Hypocrites!!

While writing this piece, I am reminded of another very peculiar example from our own vicinity and daily life. We all worship Goddess Lakshmi, Durga, Saraswati and without them, even the worship of their husband is not seen as worthwhile. But, the same ‘we’ very conveniently abuse each other in a fit of anger or jokingly in the name of mother and sister (Hope you got it, what I mean).

Further to this, we tend to seek advice from holy books or spiritual gurus and it is suggested that forget the past and live in the present but practically, as a so-called forward-looking nation (with bullet train etc.), we are still obsessed with our past. Forget ‘swachta’ (cleanliness) of our surrounding, when would we think of ‘swachta’ of our mind.

I rest my case!

Yes… I am ‘an imperfect wife’ of a perfect husband..!! 978

Dusk was falling, I and my husband were talking over a coffee when in jest he called me “an imperfect wife”. It all started after I tagged him on Facebook on an article which stated: “You have a perfect husband if he cooks for you”.

My husband is perfect in the view of the fact he cooks for me, he helps me in household tasks, he never forgets to say I love you before hanging up on phone, he respects my space, he hangs out with my friends, he listens to my piece of advice, he excels professionally, he is good with kids, he respects my side of family. Moreover, I keep reminding him how much blessed I am to have him in my life.

And I am “an imperfect wife” of a perfect husband who doesn’t know cooking well but how does it matter if am working very hard in learning the same.

My imperfection has another side as well which my husband overlooked. I keep surprising him with gifts, love, hugs, and kisses even when he escapes saying “Baby, I am not good at showing affection, I told you”.

Every day, I call his family to make sure that they feel valued and our bond strengthens whereas he dodged saying that “Baby, I am not good in handling relations, you please remind me that I need to speak to your parents also”.

Extending my levels of imperfection, I must say, I make sure I manage the finance well so that none of us feel the burden.

When my perfect husband is busy in his office work I make sure I find some time out from my office and household work to find jobs for him as I want him to grow. I can easily do it for myself but I prefer his career over mine at this stage.

I am not perfect but I make sure our house is always clean, his clothes are washed and perfectly ironed and his things are in place.

I am imperfect but I make sure his health is fine.

I am imperfect but I never let him count his weakness. He is perfect because I have always let him be the perfect one.

A gentle reminder to all the perfect husbands in the world:

You are not perfect nor your wife is but you think you are perfect because your wife makes sure she covers your imperfections with her flaws. She helps you being the perfect one. Your wife isn’t running for your money, she can even earn herself. All she is wants from you is your love, time and words of praise. Remember not to focus on her imperfections instead see the effort she continuously takes for you. Do not remind her that she is imperfect instead tell her that you can find no one better than her. Some words can break heart even if said in jest.

I know my husband loves me and I cannot find a better husband but all I know is if I become perfect like him he might not love me the way he loves me now.

If I also escape saying “sorry, I hate cooking I told you” “Sorry, it has been a week I didn’t call your parents you should have reminded me” or “Sorry I was busy working, I couldn’t manage the finances etc.” He will not be able to deal with it.

Therefore am happy being an imperfect wife of my perfect husband.