Four Things I Learnt About My Parents 219

Parents, our creators, our mentors and our guides forever. We all learn so much ‘from’ our parents but this is to share what I learnt ‘about’ my parents in my late twenties. And I am sure you all will also agree to these-

They want to be an active part of our lives

Most of us have moved away from home and are living a life of our own. Our jobs, our friends, our daily routines – are our own. Our parents have seen us growing up in their sight – enjoying our every achievement, celebrating our every birthday, reprimanding us for our grave mistakes. Our lives have been moulded and transformed into the current shape and form by the efforts of our parents. Suddenly, we grew up and went out alone in this big bad world. Suddenly, their active involvement was reduced to a couple of phone calls and limited information. They ache to be an active part of our lives and with Google giving all the information from cooking to cleaning tips to setting a home – they feel their role has been diminished. Still, not giving up, they try to give tidbits of advice and wisdom wherever they can.  g

What I learnt was not to argue against the advice, no matter whether I feel it is relevant or not. An affirmation that I am listening to them and will start practicing their advice makes them feel they are still needed in our lives. Just recently, my mother taught me Yoga for my back troubles. Initially, I was too tired and lazy, but when I saw the glint in her eyes, I decided to go for it. She spent 15 minutes putting the Ipad in a position from where the recording would capture my movements on the mat – because she wanted me to remember the moves. Just the effort put in by her motivated me to let her give me a 30 min lesson – which by the way – turned out to be quite useful.

They are trying hard to understand our ways

It is 2017. Many of us are in a world fighting to be more independent and ahead every day. It was different in their time. Neither did they have as many choices as we do, nor were they born with a sense of living their own life – they were born with a sense of responsibility. We are different. We like to make our own choices, live the life on our rules, and question what is taught down to us. Parents are not tuned to understand this naturally or accept this without worrying about our welfare. Changing choice of partner in the e-dating era, changing career choices, fast paced life, pushing the marriageability age, breaking away from the standard roles of men and women – they are happy for us – cautiously – and are trying their best to think like us. It is as tough as it is for us to think like them.

What I learnt was to be patient and more importantly, be considerate with them as they struggle to understand our lifestyle. Remove phrases like ‘ “It is my life”; “You do not understand”. They might understand, they might not – they will definitely make an effort and you should definitely reach a compromise for the two most important people in your life.

They think about us 24×7

We are their life. They did not have the comfort of nannies and were there for us all the time. From the day we are born, their life is about us. How can this mindset go away – our good, our health….our welfare…waiting for a call.

What I learnt was to call them regularly and if I cannot, to communicate through Whatsapp. Sometimes when the gap between calls is too long, it is important to let parents vent out a little on why I did not call them.

They need us

They need us in a lot of ways which they won’t tell – they are scared of retirement…health….distance….they need their kids as their support. Also, they need validation that they have been good parents – when you cook like them or take their ways. Being a parent is one the most precious gifts in the world, yet so often we take them for granted. They have needs and wants and fears and joys.

For many twenty-somethings, in this age, We don’t turn to our parents for guidance anymore. We don’t look to them for love. We seek validation for our choices and our emotions in the advice of friends and colleagues. Don’t we?

All I want to say here to all of the millennials out there to take an hour out of their ‘oh so busy’ lives and spend it drinking coffee with your creators. Don’t talk about money or anything material. Don’t talk about the weather or politics. Talk about each other. You will be so surprised at how much you learn and how much they will appreciate your effort.

Previous ArticleNext Article

This little girl is afraid of lights…. WHY?? Watch the video! 232

A couple of days back I and my daughter witnessed an accident of a man with his child driving on a bike. Lot many people gathered at the spot and some helped the victims. I and my daughter stopped and helped the child who did not have any major wounds but was scarred here and there and was bleeding a little. The man too, but his back was hit badly to the road divider. Probably, I am afraid the inside damage may take some time to be revealed, though I hope he will be healed fully. The public started judging that the father must have lost control. Either he was driving with high speed or was on the phone while driving.

The truth was none of these reasons and the father had no mistake. The mistake was the car that sped away which drove in front of him while they were on the road in opposite direction. The father was at normal speed but when the car took a left turn and the high beam light blinded the father and he could not open his eyes. This made him lose control as he was caught suddenly. The car driver did not realize what he did or how he became a reason for someone to fall and so he just drove away. Luckily the father and daughter did not have any much damage, but what if something serious happened? Who is responsible for it?

Dear people, most vehicles have an option to dimmer your headlights. While driving in city limits keep your headlights dim and when in a darker and outskirts place you can make it higher. Many do not realize this and drive without even bothering about it. Please, do not be a reason of someone’s death knowingly or unknowingly. Do not take away a child’s father or mother just because you were too ignorant to check your headlights while driving. Here is a beautiful video that explains what I am talking. Share with your family and friends and spread the awareness. Because like you many just do not realize and once they know, I am sure people will be careful.

“I Fear a Relapse”, Says Deepika Padukone. 1379

The trailer of the most awaited Padmavati movie was released making us wait on a tiptoe for the movie to be released soon which is actually on December 1st, 2017 (See the trailer here). While on-screen Rani Padmini fights for her honor, the actress who plays the role, Deepika Padukone is fighting altogether a different battle in her real life.

While shooting for the Happy New Year movie, Deepika was fighting her inner battle of depression. Although she did not realize it then. Her mother who came to visit felt there was something wrong and requested Anna Chandy, a psychiatrist from Bengaluru to talk to her daughter. Though Deepika ignored it for a period of time, she finally recognized her problem and took steps to cure it. However, in a recent event, while talking about the Jauhar scene of Rani Padmini in the movie Padmavati, she revealed that she lives in a constant fear of a relapse of depression. She said “ I don’t think, I am completely over it. There is always a fear of relapse as that phase when it happened is the worst experience in my life”.

Since her opening up about her condition in public, there are numerous articles written about depression and there are plenty of suggestion available for someone who is looking for help. But, the truth is a lot many of the population who are suffering from depression do not know that they have it and they need help. Most of them try to think it is nothing but stress, fatigue and they are over-worked.

Like Deepika said in one of her interviews earlier while talking about her feelings during the time, being sad and being depressed are two different things. When someone is sad, they look sad, but when someone is depressed, most of the times they hide it. They try to behave normally while the feeling of emptiness keeps nagging at them. You do not have to be poor or have to lose something in life to be depressed. Sometimes the feeling of depression has no reason.

How to recognize the signs?

When someone is depressed, you may notice certain changes in them. Such as,

  • Less interested in daily activities
  • Loss of appetite and weight changes (can lose or gain)
  • being angry and irritable most of the times
  • less energised
  • self-loathing
  • reckless behaviors
  • Change in sleeping patterns

These are some of the changes we notice in a depressed person, not for few days but on a regular basis. If you spot these in someone or if you are facing it yourself, get help. There is no age or gender who are affected by depression.

Recognizing and understanding the symptoms of depression is the first step to finding a solution. Once you know, meet a good psychiatrist and get help. There is no shame in finding help to cure a mental illness. We meet our doctors for physical illness. In the same way, sometimes our mind also need that extra help too.

Do not, I repeat do not ever be afraid to ask for help!!! Because you might be surprised that there are so many good people around you who really care and want to help you.