Hey Woman! Stay Girl!! 758

It was a rainy evening just a few days back. I and my daughter decided to go to a chats corner to eat some tasty and spicy chats. While we were there, a group of college-aged girls came in. Suddenly there were loud laughter, noise and an air of fun. I also noticed many heads staring at these chirpy young girls who cared for none. I have this habit of watching people face and it fascinates me. Every face has so many things to tell. Whether we want to share or not, our faces always tell others what kind of mood we are in. You must have seen many times people passing by all alone, yet smiling to themselves? Or someone, scowling? And here in the chat corner too I started to observe, especially the women face.

What I saw was somewhat sad. I saw those girls, happily jumping, squealing, having fun with each other without a care in the world and not bothered about anything else around them. Then I saw a little older that is middle-aged women, walking in a hurry and with visible tension in their faces. I saw a mother, angry at her child for being stubborn, I saw a wife waiting for her husband who was vividly late, I saw a woman who looked like someone who came straight from having a hard day and got loads in her head, busily giving instruction to someone regarding a party preparation for the next day. These women showed such signs of stress that it was hard to miss the changes in a woman from being carefree to a responsible person.

These women were once been like the other carefree girls without any care in the world. What changed that? It’s easy to brush it off as “life happens”. Did marriage change all? is it the husband, is it the in-laws, is it the high-profile career that you are chasing so hard for years, or anything else?

We might give many reasons, however, deep down I believe it always comes down to us as to how we handle our life. I agree, for many, there are those unfortunate people in life who drag us down to make us feel miserable. Still many a times it is we who let carry too many responsibilities simply because we do not learn how to let others help us. We are too egoistic to share or to ask for help.

Many married women lose those friendships that they had for more than a decade of years simply because of the responsibilities she believes that it is her own. Dear woman, share your work, let others also be a part of what you do and cheer up. Life is too short to spend it off without enjoying the little moments. Things that you decided too kiddish are something that needed to be sane and happy.

Hey woman, here are a few things that you should do to keep that young girl in you alive and not to lose out yourself in the world of responsibilities.

  • Call that friend you were meaning to call for a long time just because you had a fight years back and never got around to patch up. Trust me! There is nothing happier than catching up with a childhood friend.

  • Sing and dance with your children even if you are not good at it. Well, we are not trying to participate in any concert. But you should, if you are really good at it.

  • Learn to say “No” to family demands when are tired of carrying on. Your body may be able to do it. But not your mind.

  • Do not worry about what people are going to think. You have already come too far to build a rapport with people around you and simple things do not matter because everyone is busy with their own lives.

  • Do not try to save every penny for your children. You are making them study hard is to teach them to be independent and to earn their way. Enjoy the little pleasures you could buy.

  • Do not try too hard please everyone. People always have something against when they are dissatisfied with themselves.

  • Make time and spend time with your inner self.

These are some of my ways. But each woman might have her own way of dealings with things in life. Whatever you do, do not lose out that chirpy and bubbly girl you once had been. Keep her alive, give her more importance than to the one which pressure and stress had made you today.

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“I Fear a Relapse”, Says Deepika Padukone. 1357

The trailer of the most awaited Padmavati movie was released making us wait on a tiptoe for the movie to be released soon which is actually on December 1st, 2017 (See the trailer here). While on-screen Rani Padmini fights for her honor, the actress who plays the role, Deepika Padukone is fighting altogether a different battle in her real life.

While shooting for the Happy New Year movie, Deepika was fighting her inner battle of depression. Although she did not realize it then. Her mother who came to visit felt there was something wrong and requested Anna Chandy, a psychiatrist from Bengaluru to talk to her daughter. Though Deepika ignored it for a period of time, she finally recognized her problem and took steps to cure it. However, in a recent event, while talking about the Jauhar scene of Rani Padmini in the movie Padmavati, she revealed that she lives in a constant fear of a relapse of depression. She said “ I don’t think, I am completely over it. There is always a fear of relapse as that phase when it happened is the worst experience in my life”.

Since her opening up about her condition in public, there are numerous articles written about depression and there are plenty of suggestion available for someone who is looking for help. But, the truth is a lot many of the population who are suffering from depression do not know that they have it and they need help. Most of them try to think it is nothing but stress, fatigue and they are over-worked.

Like Deepika said in one of her interviews earlier while talking about her feelings during the time, being sad and being depressed are two different things. When someone is sad, they look sad, but when someone is depressed, most of the times they hide it. They try to behave normally while the feeling of emptiness keeps nagging at them. You do not have to be poor or have to lose something in life to be depressed. Sometimes the feeling of depression has no reason.

How to recognize the signs?

When someone is depressed, you may notice certain changes in them. Such as,

  • Less interested in daily activities
  • Loss of appetite and weight changes (can lose or gain)
  • being angry and irritable most of the times
  • less energised
  • self-loathing
  • reckless behaviors
  • Change in sleeping patterns

These are some of the changes we notice in a depressed person, not for few days but on a regular basis. If you spot these in someone or if you are facing it yourself, get help. There is no age or gender who are affected by depression.

Recognizing and understanding the symptoms of depression is the first step to finding a solution. Once you know, meet a good psychiatrist and get help. There is no shame in finding help to cure a mental illness. We meet our doctors for physical illness. In the same way, sometimes our mind also need that extra help too.

Do not, I repeat do not ever be afraid to ask for help!!! Because you might be surprised that there are so many good people around you who really care and want to help you.

Marriage – the funniest ironical institution in India 221

Many people would not be able to figure out the mistake in the following figure. Well, there is no grammatical mistake, there is no printing error or any other fault in it. If you still haven’t figured it out, I have an answer for you, I would like you to face the ironical reality of the modern world or the 21st century where the thoughts and ideologies of Paleolithic age still prevails.

Women have always been considered as a pillar of the society, we have given her various names, we worship her, pamper her and consider her to be the live giver; there is nothing wrong in it. However, it blows my mind to see such kind of ideas still prevail in the society. I personally feel that a woman gets a chance to change her life, the first time she is born, the second time her life changes when she gets married and the third time she changes her life when she gives birth to a new life. But, amidst all this ebb and flow of life cycle, why is there a question that she needs to answer every time. Why is there a need to prove that she can equally love her parent and in-laws? Well, if you feel that I am proclaiming something different, then you must have a look at the picture here.

I find arrange marriages to be the funniest institution in India. Irrespective of the fact that I am a party to it, I still believe that it has some funny traditions and beliefs flowing in it. I would like to highlight a few-

  • The first thing that we say in India is, “Shaadi hamesha barabari ke khaandaan mein honi chahiye (One should get married in a family who is equal in status with the other),” Well, if that is true, why this equivalence is only restricted to money, why no one questions on thoughts, beliefs, ideas, vision etc. Yes, money is important to run a family, but imagine a situation where you have a big house, a big car etc. but both husband and wife are never on the same page. Is that the mantra for a happy married life? At least I don’t feel so.
  • Another popular phrase which we commonly here during the marriage is that “Shaadi to parivaaro ka mail hai ( Marriage is not between two people, it is the bonding of two families,” if that is so, why a girl has to put her in-laws first and ignore her parents. If that’s not the truth, I would again request you to run through the picture above. Why can’t both the families co-exist. Although, things are changing, the ground reality is different.
  • One of the common things I have heard is, “ Ladki ko sasural ke hisab se adjust karna chahiye (girl must learn to compromise and live as per her in-laws and husband),” there is nothing wrong in it and I too believe in it, but what if we tweaked this scenario, like both the parties can make slight adjustments so that everyone is happy and the guy or the husband doesn’t have to take sides.

What I have written is not new or neither revolutionary, I have actually started to find our society to be hilarious. We are never in a phase to create an equal world, rather we always pester on the fact that one has to be above, I think this hierarchical ideology is still haunting us since the time of Britishers. I don’t know how much change will come in the times to come, but, even if one person transforms after reading this, I will feel content.