I am a 65yrs old man & here to tell only two words to all the men- Be There!
Men chase wealth. Men chase fame. Men chase physical attractiveness. Men chase business ventures. Men chase sexual mastery. Men chase the materialistic assets. Men chase all of this shit that doesn’t mean a damn thing to ANYONE the second the doctor tells them they have terminal cancer or discover their wife having an affair, or try to digest their child doesn't have time for them.
Men are taught that status is everything. It’s reinforced by parents because parents need to be proud of their sons. It’s reinforced by women because women are often attracted to high-status men. It’s reinforced by children because children’s lives can often benefit in obvious ways (financially and socially) from high-status fathers.
What we forget to teach our sons is to have PURPOSE not only the PERFORMANCE.
And it’s a serious problem.
I have many friends and women in the family who are very well off with husbands or sons doing great in all the chases mentioned above but still they are not the happy family.
My daughter used to call me as ' Sunday Wale Papa', coz I used to meet her only on Sundays. That time I was accustomed to that name and just used to laugh it away.
Sometimes it becomes too late to understand that no amount of money, possessions, career success, trophies on the shelf or fame can provide the peace and contentment we all crave for deep inside. Isn't it?
Men are so engrossed in working towards making life luxurious that they forget to actually feel what life really is. And in this chase, they forget that the clock is ticking. When we, the men grow old don't have kids around to listen or to give time to us coz we never gave it to them. We never sat and talked to our kids to build that bonding. We were always only the providers for them.
My son only spoke to me when he wanted his hostel fees or other expenses. Whole life I didn't have time to know even one name of his friend. Every time he wanted to share something, I used say, " Go to your mother with your stories." Today he doesn't have anything to share with me though I have plenty of time and eagerness to listen to him.
Wives are busy taking care of household or grandkids because this is what they have done their whole life. We never made them realize that we need to hold hands and talk.
I didn't have 5mins in a day to tell her how much she means to me, now she doesn't have space for that feeling in her life. Today I want to hold her hand and take her to places but she is not interested. I want to tell her that she is really beautiful but it doesn't matter to her now.
Who's at fault?
Us???? No, not at all!!
Nobody teaches us the things we, the boys needed to know. So the boys grow up repeating the sins of their fathers.
Not because they’re bad. Just because they didn’t know better. Because their parents didn’t know. And their grandparents didn’t know. And neither did anyone else.
But we need to change.
I am 65years old today sitting on my lappy writing this just because I don't want future generations to feel what I am feeling today. Come on boys! I am not saying you should leave all chases of your life, they are also important but do take out some time daily for your parents, wife and kids. Do go out with friends sometimes and have fun.
Today you have all joints working, all taste buds alive, no restrictions from doctors. So just chill, take a break from your phone and laptop, take out time to dance with your hands around her waist, do bungee jumping with your little ones.
Be the most important part of their daily routine today to remain same when you grow old. Be the part of the decisions that they take, be the part of their discussions no matter how trivial it may sound.