Life Learning Lessons By Hollywood. 56

After learning from Bollywood (my last article ) I decided I need to increase my knowledge base and widen the learning and hence I shifted to the Hollywood. Of course Hollywood is a big deal and after watching Hollywood movies for some time now, here are some of the important lessons that are a must know for everyone. Again this is just for laughs. Ha ha!

  • Women detectives and FBI can run and catch the criminals in those killer high heels. Seriously, I hope these women give coaching classes on how to run in a killer shoe in their spare time. My advice- Don’t even try.
  • It’s a universal rule, do not ever kill a person once or even twice. A dead person is always going to wake up and come at you. So make sure you stab once, twice, thrice or even four times and still keep an eye to be sure.( Wink Wink)
  • If you just start dancing in the middle of the road with a guitar or any other musical instrument in the hand, all others in the road will join you and everyone knows the steps perfectly and in sync too. (Been dancing since ages and they must have had some practice)
  • All I can see or feel is the World is going to end pretty soon. Either the oceans are going to swallow us, Earth will be frozen, some huge fireball may kill the Earth or Earth is going to crack down into halves and all the life will be down and dead. Oh my God! So much of science here that it gives me a head spin and chills.
  • All people in US are FBI or CIA agent or some kind of a detective.He he, no other employment available. 😉
  • Everyone born in the US probably has a science lab in their basement and are fond of experimenting with science. Because often we see so many experiments gone wrong and made into a new Iron Man, Hollow Man, Hulk etc. Don’t try it at home.;)
  • It’s a world of vampires, werewolves etc and be careful because they like to fall in love with us humans and start a family and make babies. What if they get thirsty and suck all our blood? Yikes!!
  • US schools are all about only musicals, dancing, proms and mean girls. Seriously do they even have any classes with subjects where they actually teach the kids?
  • The aliens are in the borders of our Earth and are trying to invade us and take away everything that we have built until today, but they want to invade only the US. Ufffff thank God! Other countries are safe!!! Sigh!!
  • When an alien or a zombie is chasing you, and you find your car ready with its key in the ignition, be warned, it is never going to start. Be careful!
  • Never play a haunted puzzle or adventure games. It is more likely for them to come true. Just don’t play, I know you don’t want to get stuck in space or an African jungle. Do you?
  • Do not call someone’s name staring into the mirror. You probably might invite a bloody Marie or John into your bedroom. That sounds creepy even to imagine.
  • Every Nanny you hire has some weird plans of looting you and your husband or having an affair with your spouse. Seriously ladies, think before you hire a beautiful young woman for a nanny.
  • Life is all about you and me. There are no families involved at all. No brother and sisters, father and mother etc.

Well, with so many things movies are not bad for us after all, they teach us so many life savings lessons. What say, folks! Got some more to add? Make your list in the comments.

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How I was Duped? 180

This happened many years back, probably in 2011, early months of my marriage. Till date, I still feel ashamed of my naivety. However, I would like to share my story with you all, hoping to warn, if you find yourself in any such a situation. Although I doubt anyone can be as stupid as me, but opportunist and cheaters are found everywhere. So be warned and be careful.

It was one of those busy and hot summer days and I was totally engrossed in my work at home when suddenly the door bell rang. I’ am always careful not opening the door to strangers and so opened the window to check who it was. There was a salesman who wanted to do a survey on a new toothbrush that was introduced into the market. He said he will give me three brand new toothbrush for free and he will be back after a week. I am supposed to use the brush and answer few questions for his survey. Along with that, he will also give me a ticket with a number which has a lucky draw. There were different prizes and if my ticket wins he will get the prizes along with him the next week. All in all, I thought there is no harm in taking those sealed brushes with the ticket. I took them and kept it aside and forgot all about it.

After a week, the same man appeared in front of my door again. I remembered him very well. He said I have won some gifts worth 800/- Rs items and he showed them all to me. He asked me for the ticket. I searched all around the house but in vain and told him that I have lost the lucky draw slip. He told me that there is another customer who have won a refrigerator and those people have shifted their house. He can give that lucky draw slip to me along with the other gifts that I have won and all I need to do is pay him 600/- Rs and I will be getting the refrigerator too. He said he will also give me his phone number and his office number if I need to check. For a moment I could not believe my luck and got carried away. For more than a year I was talking to my husband about buying a new refrigerator as ours was an old model and desperately wanted one.

Now, this man tells me that I would be getting a refrigerator of a lucky draw, was like a God sent a gift and I did not think further. Though I was doubtful, the man convinced me that I need to pay first as he needs to report about the changes in his office to send the refrigerator to my address. Finally, I gave in and paid him 600 Rs and took the other gifts. He said he will be back within an hour. Once he left, I had to finish some work. Later when I got free, I checked the other free items that he gave me and found them all used items and some of them broken though the packs were new. Then is when I realized of foul play and called the phone numbers he gave me. One of the numbers went to a gold shop and the other to a placement consultancy. I realized that I was duped by the salesman and there is no refrigerator on its way reaching our home.

I consoled myself thinking that I was lucky enough that the man did not hit me on my head and steal the house. I learned my lesson and since then I am always careful with people around who wants to sell something to us.

The True Face of a Resume!! 309

I am not sure how many of you believe in a resume but I for one, have never believed in one. It may sure tell us the educational details or some other information which a person can directly tell while in an interview. Sure it saves a lot of time, yet I wonder why an interviewer asks them again though. Such are the times our minds keep screaming “It’s already written in my CV, can’t you see it, sir/madam?” Oh! Well, our face might be deceptive at that time. A resume can never tell you so many things and a lot many times talented people may lose a chance of meeting their destiny or companies may not be able to hire good and talented people just because their resumes did not fancy the interviewer’s requirement. Given the chance to write one cool resume, what would you write? Here is mine.

Objective

To find a job that actually pays without asking me to work more than my limits, giving plenty of free time to relax and have a word with family and friends while I catch up with some of the work.

Personal Skills

a) I might be the first – in walking out of the office doors at the evening

b) The best talking and chatting companion you can ever find

c) cat-like reflexes- The moment you see me and decide there is something wrong in my work and needs discussion, Meow… I am not there.

d) I can sleep well any time of the day and anywhere.

e) I have good communication skills. By phone, by SMS, by group chats, by emails, and also through other Internet facilities that you provide.

f) I know my way around MS Word.

Experience

I am well experienced in any kind of arguments and can fairly win. I have a good experience in eating all kind of tasty vegetarian foods. I have good experience in trying to control gaining weight. I can tell you well as how to write a CV, just like this one. I am a good listener you see because I usually don’t try too hard to listen to what other person is talking. I am extremely good at researching on Google for information. Am a good dreamer, as I have spent most of my time in day-dreaming.

Education

I can read and write. I am educated enough to understand the basic languages ( ie., Hindi, English, Kannada and so on).

I have fairly got through a degree without trying too hard to pay off my pockets. Half way through various other certificate programs. We shall discuss that when we meet.

Reference

Me- Because who else can tell you better about me than I?

There, now you know everything about me, lets meet and talk about some important things that I might have missed mentioning here and you can give me the joining papers. You can also share what would be my salary on joining without feeling much shy. I am quite friendly and adaptable person.

See Ya soon,

XYZ

[Got any other crazy ideas for a resume. Share in the comments and let’s have a good laugh together]