Married Woman Stuff 659

I got married in Dec 2016 with the guy I dated for over 3 years. In my mind marriage was just as my ceremony in the city hall – a legal binding for people who were already living with each other. Soon after the wedding news hit social media, I started noticing a shift in the way some people viewed me! My writings are often not read in very good taste – to everyone who likes to find reasons to be ‘offended’ – I am glad to give you one more!

Below are few very intriguing things people mentioned and some very hilarious questions I was asked.

The married attitude:

So apparently being married implies I would not go on any road trips with my guy friends. One of my friends pointed out that he was not sure if he could ask me as I was now married. I remember furrowing my brow, thinking hard if I was supposed to be offended in case a guy friend asked me out on a trip. Unfortunately, the social decorum gene has always been missing in me so this conversation was sort of an overhead transmission for me. Guy friends – ask away!

The married co-location: 

So my husband and I not only stay in different countries but different continents! Yes, we are that bizarre couple and no, this was not planned. Numerous times I have been asked the timeline around which I am planning to move to India. An underlying assumption, of course, being that I will follow my husband across the continent. I really thought our generation was past this gender bias, but apparently many are still sticking strongly to the concept of the ‘following wife’.

The in-laws:

Right after my trip home when I met my very sweet in-laws for the first time, many people were intrigued how the meeting went. I was more than happy to share. In the middle of the night yesterday, however, I decided to ask my husband if he was ever asked the same question, considering he has met my parents’ plenty and it is a common knowledge in his friend circle. The answer was no. I realised the concept of in-laws for many goes only one way! My husband meeting my parents is just not as shiny as me meeting his parents!

The new woman:

In the middle of crazy talks and random conversations that I am known for in my close circle, a few folks decided to share the conclusion they had arrived at: I was still the same Vidushi they knew before marriage. You have to admit this is stellar! Clearly, I was expected to experience a rebirth of sorts after marriage that failed to happen – God decided I was too much work. Hence, I was abandoned by God as the same person pre and post marriage! I guess pray for a successful transition to a married woman?

So these new findings and apparent rules (for many, not all) really intrigued me and I thought I would share them on social media in case someone with an unabashed self (like me) is completely missing this sense of the unsaid! Good luck and do share these intriguing little things that happen after marriage!

 

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This little girl is afraid of lights…. WHY?? Watch the video! 232

A couple of days back I and my daughter witnessed an accident of a man with his child driving on a bike. Lot many people gathered at the spot and some helped the victims. I and my daughter stopped and helped the child who did not have any major wounds but was scarred here and there and was bleeding a little. The man too, but his back was hit badly to the road divider. Probably, I am afraid the inside damage may take some time to be revealed, though I hope he will be healed fully. The public started judging that the father must have lost control. Either he was driving with high speed or was on the phone while driving.

The truth was none of these reasons and the father had no mistake. The mistake was the car that sped away which drove in front of him while they were on the road in opposite direction. The father was at normal speed but when the car took a left turn and the high beam light blinded the father and he could not open his eyes. This made him lose control as he was caught suddenly. The car driver did not realize what he did or how he became a reason for someone to fall and so he just drove away. Luckily the father and daughter did not have any much damage, but what if something serious happened? Who is responsible for it?

Dear people, most vehicles have an option to dimmer your headlights. While driving in city limits keep your headlights dim and when in a darker and outskirts place you can make it higher. Many do not realize this and drive without even bothering about it. Please, do not be a reason of someone’s death knowingly or unknowingly. Do not take away a child’s father or mother just because you were too ignorant to check your headlights while driving. Here is a beautiful video that explains what I am talking. Share with your family and friends and spread the awareness. Because like you many just do not realize and once they know, I am sure people will be careful.

“I Fear a Relapse”, Says Deepika Padukone. 1379

The trailer of the most awaited Padmavati movie was released making us wait on a tiptoe for the movie to be released soon which is actually on December 1st, 2017 (See the trailer here). While on-screen Rani Padmini fights for her honor, the actress who plays the role, Deepika Padukone is fighting altogether a different battle in her real life.

While shooting for the Happy New Year movie, Deepika was fighting her inner battle of depression. Although she did not realize it then. Her mother who came to visit felt there was something wrong and requested Anna Chandy, a psychiatrist from Bengaluru to talk to her daughter. Though Deepika ignored it for a period of time, she finally recognized her problem and took steps to cure it. However, in a recent event, while talking about the Jauhar scene of Rani Padmini in the movie Padmavati, she revealed that she lives in a constant fear of a relapse of depression. She said “ I don’t think, I am completely over it. There is always a fear of relapse as that phase when it happened is the worst experience in my life”.

Since her opening up about her condition in public, there are numerous articles written about depression and there are plenty of suggestion available for someone who is looking for help. But, the truth is a lot many of the population who are suffering from depression do not know that they have it and they need help. Most of them try to think it is nothing but stress, fatigue and they are over-worked.

Like Deepika said in one of her interviews earlier while talking about her feelings during the time, being sad and being depressed are two different things. When someone is sad, they look sad, but when someone is depressed, most of the times they hide it. They try to behave normally while the feeling of emptiness keeps nagging at them. You do not have to be poor or have to lose something in life to be depressed. Sometimes the feeling of depression has no reason.

How to recognize the signs?

When someone is depressed, you may notice certain changes in them. Such as,

  • Less interested in daily activities
  • Loss of appetite and weight changes (can lose or gain)
  • being angry and irritable most of the times
  • less energised
  • self-loathing
  • reckless behaviors
  • Change in sleeping patterns

These are some of the changes we notice in a depressed person, not for few days but on a regular basis. If you spot these in someone or if you are facing it yourself, get help. There is no age or gender who are affected by depression.

Recognizing and understanding the symptoms of depression is the first step to finding a solution. Once you know, meet a good psychiatrist and get help. There is no shame in finding help to cure a mental illness. We meet our doctors for physical illness. In the same way, sometimes our mind also need that extra help too.

Do not, I repeat do not ever be afraid to ask for help!!! Because you might be surprised that there are so many good people around you who really care and want to help you.