Married Woman Stuff 460

I got married in Dec 2016 with the guy I dated for over 3 years. In my mind marriage was just as my ceremony in the city hall – a legal binding for people who were already living with each other. Soon after the wedding news hit social media, I started noticing a shift in the way some people viewed me! My writings are often not read in very good taste – to everyone who likes to find reasons to be ‘offended’ – I am glad to give you one more!

Below are few very intriguing things people mentioned and some very hilarious questions I was asked.

The married attitude:

So apparently being married implies I would not go on any road trips with my guy friends. One of my friends pointed out that he was not sure if he could ask me as I was now married. I remember furrowing my brow, thinking hard if I was supposed to be offended in case a guy friend asked me out on a trip. Unfortunately, the social decorum gene has always been missing in me so this conversation was sort of an overhead transmission for me. Guy friends – ask away!

The married co-location: 

So my husband and I not only stay in different countries but different continents! Yes, we are that bizarre couple and no, this was not planned. Numerous times I have been asked the timeline around which I am planning to move to India. An underlying assumption, of course, being that I will follow my husband across the continent. I really thought our generation was past this gender bias, but apparently many are still sticking strongly to the concept of the ‘following wife’.

The in-laws:

Right after my trip home when I met my very sweet in-laws for the first time, many people were intrigued how the meeting went. I was more than happy to share. In the middle of the night yesterday, however, I decided to ask my husband if he was ever asked the same question, considering he has met my parents’ plenty and it is a common knowledge in his friend circle. The answer was no. I realised the concept of in-laws for many goes only one way! My husband meeting my parents is just not as shiny as me meeting his parents!

The new woman:

In the middle of crazy talks and random conversations that I am known for in my close circle, a few folks decided to share the conclusion they had arrived at: I was still the same Vidushi they knew before marriage. You have to admit this is stellar! Clearly, I was expected to experience a rebirth of sorts after marriage that failed to happen – God decided I was too much work. Hence, I was abandoned by God as the same person pre and post marriage! I guess pray for a successful transition to a married woman?

So these new findings and apparent rules (for many, not all) really intrigued me and I thought I would share them on social media in case someone with an unabashed self (like me) is completely missing this sense of the unsaid! Good luck and do share these intriguing little things that happen after marriage!

 

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Let there be no other Pradyuman! 1926

 

Dear All,

This is an open letter to whomsoever it may concern, I am really shaken by the death of Pradyuman and series of events that have surfaced in different schools victimising little kids.

I am a mother of a 2-year-old child and the day I saw the news about the cold-blooded murder of a 7-year-old Pradyumn, I was left dumbstruck. Well, I never doubted the fact that human is the most dangerous animal but the way this little boy was murdered is…..no word can describe it.

I don’t know if there was something wrong with schools or there is something seriously wrong with the school management. But, another point that I would like to raise here is about the playschools.

I think most of the parents nowadays send their kids to playschool. It’s a place where children learn the basics of life and get geared up to enter the real world of schooling. But, have you noticed that there are so many playschools have mushroomed in every nook and corner of the city.

I just want to know how many such schools are affiliated or is there any system in place which assures that these playschools follow a set pattern. It might not concern a few but to many of us, it is a point of worry. Knowing the fact that our little ones are very small, they can barely speak clearly, they are too naïve to understand the ill-intentions and malicious thoughts; under such circumstances, there is a dire need to have a system in place which sets the certain protocol for opening playschools.

Even if there are parameters that need to be met to open playschool, it’s important to check for those schools which are running in a room or in a small area where no amenities are present.

What can we do as parents?

I agree to the fact that schools are the second home for a child but, taking into account the recent precedence, it is the time that we as parents take up the charge and become proactive.

If you are planning to enroll your child or have already enrolled then you must have these pointers on your radar-

  • You must know about the playschool and its staff.
  • Try to stay personally connected with the staff members and other staff of the school
  • Enquire about the verification procedure of the staff members
  • The schools should have enquired complete details about each member of the staff, starting from the teachers to the watchman
  • Enquire about the first aid facility available in the school
  • Make sure that you drop your child to his/her class
  • You should do a surprise check in the school
  • Don’t forget to meet your ward’s teacher regularly
  • And the most important thing, you should observe the behavior of your child. It’s very important that you must check if your child is happy to go to school and at the same time he/she is happy while coming back.

These are a few suggestions from my end, you can obviously leave your opinions and feedback on the same. Let’s promise to ensure the safety of our children and their childhood.

 

 

 

Why is ‘Adoption’ unapproved by society for an unmarried single parent? 1383

I was preparing for sleep last night when my friend Asmi called me up. She was sounding flustered. More than flustered, there was a rage in her voice. It happens rarely that Asmi cries. She is 30, strong, self-reliant and a career-oriented woman. She didn’t marry because she chose not to marry. There is no catastrophic heartbreak story behind. Her focus has always been on her career. She is practical and staunched.

I understood her heart is really heavy else there has never been any place for tears in her eyes.

I quizzed her the reason.

“I am not crying because am sad, I am crying because am helpless and exasperated.” Asmi retorted.

I didn’t interrupt and allowed her to put her heart out.

“Preeti, I called my mother last night and had an argument with her.” she continued.

“I told my mother that I want to adopt a baby. Before I could say anything further she started yelling at me. She scolded me saying, Asmi already because of your decision of not getting married we are in pain. Why are you adding troubles to our lives? If you really want to adopt a baby just forget us. We have to live in this society and will have to answer people around. You have always done whatever you want but this time you are crossing your limits.

If not today, maybe tomorrow you will get married. Who will marry a girl with one child? Such things appear good in movies only. You better start focusing on marriage now. Preeti, My mother wasn’t even ready to listen to my thoughts”. Asmi started sobbing.

I really had no words to console her. Her thoughts were irreproachable and valiant.

But we cannot even disregard the fact that we live in a hypocrite society. When celebrities like Sushmita, Angelina, Sunny and more adopt a baby, we eulogize, lionize, praise their thoughts and we consider it as an act of kindness. We appreciate their humanity. We deduce that they gave a new life to someone. But when anyone from our own house even thinks of adoption we make them go through ignominy by coming up with the questions like is there any medical issue? Are you not straight? Why don’t you marry and then plan your own baby? Why are you trying to shame your parents? Why don’t you understand this baby won’t be your own blood? Are you kidding? Etc.

I’ve read somewhere that parenthood requires love and not DNA. I wish we really understand that. Your genes won’t define your family, our family is built with love care and respect. There are many people who do have a heart for adoption but fear comes in between. Fear of society.

I wish people understand that adopting a baby whether you are single or married isn’t a crime.

Adoption will not only give a baby a family but will also give us a special feeling. A feeling of being human. Probably the purpose we all are here for, giving life a life.