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Monks don’t miss sex – Dalai Lama

It was recently while surfing the net, I stumbled upon a very old interview of his holiness Dalai Lama published on one of the sites( source link is given in the end). A must read explanation by Dali Lama on….Why Don’t Monks Miss Sex? Found it worth so thought of sharing with all the readers.

So do you miss sex?

No, I don’t miss sex. Not only Buddhist monks don’t marry, Catholic monks don’t too. And many Indians.

How then do they satisfy their physical urges and feelings?

Sexual pressure, sexual desire is short period satisfaction. But often, it leaves more complications. One of my friends, a Canadian, was a Buddhist monk, but after some time, he disrobed. Now he complains about so much sexual pressure, that’s he’s virtually trapped (laughs). Obviously, due to sexual pressure, people marry, soon after, they divorce. Again, they marry and may divorce again. Divorce in a marriage which has produced children is terrible. In marriage, there is a short period of sexual satisfaction, but there are many ups and downs. Monks or nuns have been trained to master their desires, and there are much fewer ups and downs. Monks, nuns, naturally as human beings have desires for sex, it is biological.

But then, those who marry always have trouble, and in some cases, it leads to murder or suicide. So, that is the consolation. We miss something, but at the same time, we live better lives. More independence, more freedom.

In marriage, if you live together, happy, and get old, there is the issue of who goes first, who dies first. Human attachment to your children and partner. And it becomes an obstacle to peace of mind. Whether right or wrong, we monks think that way. What do you think? You should join the monkhood (long laughter).

The attachments bring trap. Whether it is to a person, to substances or whatever, it is a trap. Monks are detached. One of the practices in all major religions is detachment. Don’t have too much attachment, and you’ll be contented. You have it in Catholicism, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, all major religions. You should be contented. Wealth, money, friend, family, contentment is best. It’s the key to peace of mind. Some of my friends are billionaires, but their minds are on more, more money.

Contentment means some kind of personal check, but it doesn’t mean we no longer have the desire. But attachment and desire should be separate. Without desire, then life is meaningless. The desire for good, for more service to others, desire for more benefit to others. That makes your life more meaningful. Without desire, then you’re a robot. No further progress. Genuine desire, with reasons, with logic, that’s proper desire.

Anger also can be two types. One anger comes spontaneously. That’s okay. But the anger that says this person is my enemy, I have to hit back, that is bad and is based on ignorance, lack of holistic view. If you behave well to your enemy, practice forgiveness, and reach out in all sincerity, one day the enemy and you may become best of friends. We should not close that possibility.

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