My husband left me with one child but this ‘New man’ gave me the love I was longing for. 51

She is sweet, strong woman with undoubtedly, good looks and attractive personality. She motivates many other business women….. how to be a good manager, good listener to clients and have perfect marketing and sales skills. She owns a renowned boutique in the town, that has taken a decade of her hard work to build this name.

But this is just what we see. What we don’t see is that from inside she is broken, harassed and in a bad relationship with a man whom she met a few years back. In spite of no approval from her parents for love marriage because of different religion and caste, she got married to him in the court of law. Her decision turned unfortunate soon, as the love of her life was not only unemployed but had a different opinion about life, sex and women.

She was not only humiliated and harassed physically, mentally, sexually but also financially. After the birth of her son, she thought her husband’s mother and sisters and even he himself would change. But her blind love story made her living a nightmare with an unemployed husband until she with help of her parents decided to start a small boutique.

Since then, her diligence and toil had borne many fruits in her boutique business but for her husband and mother in law, she was just a slave worker, who would work the whole day at home as well as boutique and please him at night as his mistress. In ten years, she was earning about one lakh rupees for her husband and his family, who would never respect her or help her in any work in home or boutique. Her husband not only was lazy, violent but drug addict too. When he got to know about her little savings, he decided to shift to Canada alone with that money in search of employment.

Now, she was double minded, to let him or not. Because she still loved him, somewhere and wanted the father of her son to stay close to her. But that selfish man went away and never contacted her, leave apart sending money as a help.

She was even more traumatized and felt helpless but her son was a big motivation for her. Time passed by and after few months, she came in touch with this new guy through a common friend, who fell in love with her instantly. This new guy was also married, but could not find a soulmate in his partner from 15 years of marriage. So this new guy became like an understanding partner in her life.  Soon she started dating him and enjoying his company.

Time passed by and after few months, she came in touch with this new guy through a common friend, who fell in love with her instantly. This new guy was also married, but could not find a soulmate in his partner from 15 years of marriage. So this new guy became like an understanding partner in her life.  Soon she started dating him and enjoying his company.

They used to meet each other every fortnight and spend quality time together. They are supporting each other emotionally and physically. Life got a new meaning for both. Their friendship gave them what they were longing for in their marital relationship.

Though this new guy wants to divorce his present wife and start a new life with her, after the unsuccessful and horrifying experience, she does not want to marry anyone. She only wants to continue his friendship and support and nothing more.

Now my question here is….Is this wrong?

She surely has the liberty to live her life freely with somebody who understands as well as love him. Though the society will not approve this ever and she will get all types of names possible…’ Badchalan( characterless) etc etc but whats the point to become a ‘Sati Savitri’ for the kind of husband she had?

She wants to live in her own way now focussing on future of his son. So, what’s wrong with it?

For me, Go on girl… Jee le apni zindagi!

But what about you? I know few of you must be having an awful feeling for her coz what she is doing is so called ‘Unethical & Unacceptable’ as a married woman. But do you have better suggestions for her??

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Let there be no other Pradyuman! 1926

 

Dear All,

This is an open letter to whomsoever it may concern, I am really shaken by the death of Pradyuman and series of events that have surfaced in different schools victimising little kids.

I am a mother of a 2-year-old child and the day I saw the news about the cold-blooded murder of a 7-year-old Pradyumn, I was left dumbstruck. Well, I never doubted the fact that human is the most dangerous animal but the way this little boy was murdered is…..no word can describe it.

I don’t know if there was something wrong with schools or there is something seriously wrong with the school management. But, another point that I would like to raise here is about the playschools.

I think most of the parents nowadays send their kids to playschool. It’s a place where children learn the basics of life and get geared up to enter the real world of schooling. But, have you noticed that there are so many playschools have mushroomed in every nook and corner of the city.

I just want to know how many such schools are affiliated or is there any system in place which assures that these playschools follow a set pattern. It might not concern a few but to many of us, it is a point of worry. Knowing the fact that our little ones are very small, they can barely speak clearly, they are too naïve to understand the ill-intentions and malicious thoughts; under such circumstances, there is a dire need to have a system in place which sets the certain protocol for opening playschools.

Even if there are parameters that need to be met to open playschool, it’s important to check for those schools which are running in a room or in a small area where no amenities are present.

What can we do as parents?

I agree to the fact that schools are the second home for a child but, taking into account the recent precedence, it is the time that we as parents take up the charge and become proactive.

If you are planning to enroll your child or have already enrolled then you must have these pointers on your radar-

  • You must know about the playschool and its staff.
  • Try to stay personally connected with the staff members and other staff of the school
  • Enquire about the verification procedure of the staff members
  • The schools should have enquired complete details about each member of the staff, starting from the teachers to the watchman
  • Enquire about the first aid facility available in the school
  • Make sure that you drop your child to his/her class
  • You should do a surprise check in the school
  • Don’t forget to meet your ward’s teacher regularly
  • And the most important thing, you should observe the behavior of your child. It’s very important that you must check if your child is happy to go to school and at the same time he/she is happy while coming back.

These are a few suggestions from my end, you can obviously leave your opinions and feedback on the same. Let’s promise to ensure the safety of our children and their childhood.

 

 

 

Why is ‘Adoption’ unapproved by society for an unmarried single parent? 1383

I was preparing for sleep last night when my friend Asmi called me up. She was sounding flustered. More than flustered, there was a rage in her voice. It happens rarely that Asmi cries. She is 30, strong, self-reliant and a career-oriented woman. She didn’t marry because she chose not to marry. There is no catastrophic heartbreak story behind. Her focus has always been on her career. She is practical and staunched.

I understood her heart is really heavy else there has never been any place for tears in her eyes.

I quizzed her the reason.

“I am not crying because am sad, I am crying because am helpless and exasperated.” Asmi retorted.

I didn’t interrupt and allowed her to put her heart out.

“Preeti, I called my mother last night and had an argument with her.” she continued.

“I told my mother that I want to adopt a baby. Before I could say anything further she started yelling at me. She scolded me saying, Asmi already because of your decision of not getting married we are in pain. Why are you adding troubles to our lives? If you really want to adopt a baby just forget us. We have to live in this society and will have to answer people around. You have always done whatever you want but this time you are crossing your limits.

If not today, maybe tomorrow you will get married. Who will marry a girl with one child? Such things appear good in movies only. You better start focusing on marriage now. Preeti, My mother wasn’t even ready to listen to my thoughts”. Asmi started sobbing.

I really had no words to console her. Her thoughts were irreproachable and valiant.

But we cannot even disregard the fact that we live in a hypocrite society. When celebrities like Sushmita, Angelina, Sunny and more adopt a baby, we eulogize, lionize, praise their thoughts and we consider it as an act of kindness. We appreciate their humanity. We deduce that they gave a new life to someone. But when anyone from our own house even thinks of adoption we make them go through ignominy by coming up with the questions like is there any medical issue? Are you not straight? Why don’t you marry and then plan your own baby? Why are you trying to shame your parents? Why don’t you understand this baby won’t be your own blood? Are you kidding? Etc.

I’ve read somewhere that parenthood requires love and not DNA. I wish we really understand that. Your genes won’t define your family, our family is built with love care and respect. There are many people who do have a heart for adoption but fear comes in between. Fear of society.

I wish people understand that adopting a baby whether you are single or married isn’t a crime.

Adoption will not only give a baby a family but will also give us a special feeling. A feeling of being human. Probably the purpose we all are here for, giving life a life.