On a hot summer afternoon, with early lunch, as I retired to my bedroom with kids for afternoon power nap, I was already feeling lazy. Though, kids who returned from school in the heat of May were so tired that they slept instantly. As I lay, the light noise of the fan along with the slightest thundering from the room Ac, I could hear a song in Punjabi from a distant( maybe somebody in the neighbourhood is playing the songs). My ears stood up to hear with an extra effort and could figure out ” Madaniyaaa, haye oh mere daadheya rabba, kinna jamiyaan , kinna ne le jaaniya…haye ( Oh my dear god, I wonder who have given birth and with whom they will go- the girls ).
With murmuring, I started singing the song, in a more clearer way to myself, I knew this since childhood, hearing from my grandmother. All that it has the pain expression of being a girl. Girl, since birth, is taken as some soul, who will stay for a while and then move to the next home with her husband. Then, it is understood that her marital home is her own and not the one she was born in, spent the wonderful childhood, have biological parents and siblings. it is just matter of one ceremony and then the whole logic of her existence changes.
The whole pain of being a girl engulfed my heart. Why in this whole world, it is this pain, the girl has to leave her house? Can we just imagine our boys, leaving their home and adjusting in altogether new home? No never, these boys cannot even imagine changing the place of their toothbrush for two days… ahh no. Making the new home, their own home, staying as if there is no problem and taking care of everyone else in the house, and the pain of leaving back her own parents and giving them least priority is difficult.
The fact is that girls are like sparrows in the garden, they don’t have a permanent home. For parents, they have to be married and leave them, so their stay is temporary and after marriage, the in-laws have a tendency to understand that she is an outsider, so may not accept her fully. In the actual fact, there is no home for girls.
In today’s time, these things hardly matter in course of displaying how modern we are assumingly being. But the truth is, the pain of a girl- can be understood by another girl only.
With two tears following each other in my left eye, strolled down, made me realize that I am being over emotional, I took a side turn to look at my daughter, who was in a sound sleep. And wondered, how will I ever let her, marry and go away, no never, never ever….aww…rolled another pool of tears and this time openly from both of the eyes. Pain…deep pain..it was.