Reasons why you should not become a ‘Good Girl’. 1031

How many of us are brought with hearing a theory of “being a good girl”. I am sure almost each one of us. Isn’t it??

‘ Be a good girl’, ‘ Good girls don’t do this’, ‘ You’re my good girl’,‘ Don’t you want to be a good girl?’……….etc etc etc.

The majority of us are taught and trained to be ‘Good Girls’ and the above are those suffocating statements that we are brought up with. So, I am no exception.

To be Born and brought up in a Punjabi family with an elder brother is herculean. Though my parents have always claimed that they have treated us equal, here I am telling you that,…… NO, they were biased.

My brother, being a rebel and mean got all the privileges and attention, every time, only I was told all the do’s and don’ts to become a ‘good girl’.

Thinking about others before herself

Obeying to elders without any question

No back chat even if the other person is wrong and you are right

Family before self

Be calm; don’t be fussy

Respect elders and love your younger ones always without any expectation

Shut down your logical mind and always do good to others

Keep things to yourself only, if they can create problems.

…………………are a few of the teachings that my parents instilled in me since childhood.

And me being an ‘obedient daughter’ and ‘a good girl’, as they made me, I followed all these teachings and always tried hard to keep up with everybody’s expectations.

So at my parents’ place, it was like….

I was the most compromised one coz I never demanded what I want or think.

My achievements were never celebrated coz being a good girl I never expected anything from anybody.

My opinions didn’t matter and sought after as I was obedient.

My choices were ignored as I was a non-complainer.

I was given least attention and time coz I never created a fuss.

I never got my favorite Barbie coz I was too understanding and knew its waste of money but my bro got every toy he wanted coz he was a rebel.

I never made friends coz ‘good girls’ don’t go out with friends.

I was the last priority for everyone coz I was giving too much.

Then I was considered to be of marriageable age, my parents selected a boy for me whom they think was suitable. I was not asked coz it didn’t matter and I was expected to say ‘yes’ so I did. Though I wanted to say ‘NO’ but couldn’t.

And my role changed from a “Good daughter “ to a ‘Good daughter in law”

So at my in-laws’ place, it is like……………..

My husband doesn’t spend enough time with me and I never complain.

My MIL always ill-treats me and I never pass my feelings to my husband as it may disturb the harmony of my house.

I have no celebrations on birthdays and anniversary and I am okay with it.

My likes/dislikes don’t matter and I have no choice.

I am taken for granted everytime like a piece of furniture and I don’t object.

I am almost ignored at all events and I keep quiet.

My sister in law takes credit for everything I do and I couldn’t tell my husband about it.

I am suffering and I don’t have anybody to talk to.

……………………….And all this just because ‘Good girls’ are supposed to be like that.

Today I have suicidal thoughts and I am lonely, without friends and family to listen at least. Nobody has time and interest to know what pain I have inside me, not even my parents. In this overcrowded world, ignored by every relation I am confined to myself.

Sometimes I ask WHY??? I am so good, selfless and giving…so why this happened to me??

The only answer I get is…….Because I had never demanded importance from people around. I never realised ‘SELF WORTH’. I never understood that its okay to be a ‘Bad Girl’ sometimes. It is really okay to be demanding, selfish individual who thinks about only his/her own pleasure. All I want is to convince myself that………

It’s is okay to want your own happiness. It’s okay to care about yourself the most. You are not obligated to sit there and smile and swallow every bit of shit everyone heaps on you. You are more than furniture, you’re more than window dressing, you’re not their shiny toy. You’re human, and you have the right to put forward the objections. You have a right to protest your own mistreatment and set boundaries for respectful interactions. The rest of the world doesn’t realize you have this right, and they will act offended and appalled when you exercise it, but it is yours.

Today even if I want to, I am not able to adopt the traits of ‘bad girl’ coz the ‘Good girl’ in me has taken over me. And trust me, it’s a Curse!



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This little girl is afraid of lights…. WHY?? Watch the video! 232

A couple of days back I and my daughter witnessed an accident of a man with his child driving on a bike. Lot many people gathered at the spot and some helped the victims. I and my daughter stopped and helped the child who did not have any major wounds but was scarred here and there and was bleeding a little. The man too, but his back was hit badly to the road divider. Probably, I am afraid the inside damage may take some time to be revealed, though I hope he will be healed fully. The public started judging that the father must have lost control. Either he was driving with high speed or was on the phone while driving.

The truth was none of these reasons and the father had no mistake. The mistake was the car that sped away which drove in front of him while they were on the road in opposite direction. The father was at normal speed but when the car took a left turn and the high beam light blinded the father and he could not open his eyes. This made him lose control as he was caught suddenly. The car driver did not realize what he did or how he became a reason for someone to fall and so he just drove away. Luckily the father and daughter did not have any much damage, but what if something serious happened? Who is responsible for it?

Dear people, most vehicles have an option to dimmer your headlights. While driving in city limits keep your headlights dim and when in a darker and outskirts place you can make it higher. Many do not realize this and drive without even bothering about it. Please, do not be a reason of someone’s death knowingly or unknowingly. Do not take away a child’s father or mother just because you were too ignorant to check your headlights while driving. Here is a beautiful video that explains what I am talking. Share with your family and friends and spread the awareness. Because like you many just do not realize and once they know, I am sure people will be careful.

“I Fear a Relapse”, Says Deepika Padukone. 1379

The trailer of the most awaited Padmavati movie was released making us wait on a tiptoe for the movie to be released soon which is actually on December 1st, 2017 (See the trailer here). While on-screen Rani Padmini fights for her honor, the actress who plays the role, Deepika Padukone is fighting altogether a different battle in her real life.

While shooting for the Happy New Year movie, Deepika was fighting her inner battle of depression. Although she did not realize it then. Her mother who came to visit felt there was something wrong and requested Anna Chandy, a psychiatrist from Bengaluru to talk to her daughter. Though Deepika ignored it for a period of time, she finally recognized her problem and took steps to cure it. However, in a recent event, while talking about the Jauhar scene of Rani Padmini in the movie Padmavati, she revealed that she lives in a constant fear of a relapse of depression. She said “ I don’t think, I am completely over it. There is always a fear of relapse as that phase when it happened is the worst experience in my life”.

Since her opening up about her condition in public, there are numerous articles written about depression and there are plenty of suggestion available for someone who is looking for help. But, the truth is a lot many of the population who are suffering from depression do not know that they have it and they need help. Most of them try to think it is nothing but stress, fatigue and they are over-worked.

Like Deepika said in one of her interviews earlier while talking about her feelings during the time, being sad and being depressed are two different things. When someone is sad, they look sad, but when someone is depressed, most of the times they hide it. They try to behave normally while the feeling of emptiness keeps nagging at them. You do not have to be poor or have to lose something in life to be depressed. Sometimes the feeling of depression has no reason.

How to recognize the signs?

When someone is depressed, you may notice certain changes in them. Such as,

  • Less interested in daily activities
  • Loss of appetite and weight changes (can lose or gain)
  • being angry and irritable most of the times
  • less energised
  • self-loathing
  • reckless behaviors
  • Change in sleeping patterns

These are some of the changes we notice in a depressed person, not for few days but on a regular basis. If you spot these in someone or if you are facing it yourself, get help. There is no age or gender who are affected by depression.

Recognizing and understanding the symptoms of depression is the first step to finding a solution. Once you know, meet a good psychiatrist and get help. There is no shame in finding help to cure a mental illness. We meet our doctors for physical illness. In the same way, sometimes our mind also need that extra help too.

Do not, I repeat do not ever be afraid to ask for help!!! Because you might be surprised that there are so many good people around you who really care and want to help you.