Rest in Peace Mom! 220

The searing pain of loss engulfs us completely in the coming days, weeks and months following the death of our beloved, whether the person was our son, daughter, brother, sister, husband, wife, mother, father or another significant one. The pain effectively keeps us focused on ourselves and the unique relationship we had with the person who is now gone forever from our earthly lives. It is hard to cope up with our own feelings as we traverse through the new grief which had made a place in our lives. It is harder yet to accept the deep loss and separation that we feel in the aftermath.

These past two weeks have been extremely hard for me and my family due to the sudden demise of my beloved mother in law. The news of her death came to us as a sudden shock as she didn’t have any health issues and was perfectly fine until the day before. It seems God had some other plans for her and took her away from our lives on the ill-fated day of 23rd May 2017, leaving us bereaved.

Like every other girl, when I got married, I also had anxieties as far as this relationship was concerned. I was scared and nervous as the term ‘mother in law’ always seems to carry a bit of negative connotation, but my case was exceptional. And I really thank God for that.

My MIL was never controlling, judgmental, critical and overbearing.  She didn’t have any characteristic of the typical mother in law. She was never nosy or bossy or prone to dispensing disagreeable opinions or advice. She was such a wise, kind-hearted and gracious lady that I was looking forward to receiving her guidance and experience which she had gained all over these years. She loved me as her own daughter.

She was extremely close to me and my heart and I was blessed to have her and will always be. I will always be grateful to God that he gave me chance to be a daughter in law of a kind and generous mother in law. MOM, I just want you to know that your death has left a hollow space in our lives which can never be filled.

Dear god, please be kind to her as she herself was a symbol of kindness and humanity. You will always be in our prayers, life and heart mumma.

You will always be alive in our memories. Rest in peace.

The purpose of writing this to convey to her that we love you and thank you for being what you were. And also to pass on a message to all would-be brides that don’t be too judgemental about this relationship coz not all mother in laws are same. Do not marry with pre-conditioned feelings for mother in law as they are also mothers, after all. Aren’t they?

 

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This little girl is afraid of lights…. WHY?? Watch the video! 232

A couple of days back I and my daughter witnessed an accident of a man with his child driving on a bike. Lot many people gathered at the spot and some helped the victims. I and my daughter stopped and helped the child who did not have any major wounds but was scarred here and there and was bleeding a little. The man too, but his back was hit badly to the road divider. Probably, I am afraid the inside damage may take some time to be revealed, though I hope he will be healed fully. The public started judging that the father must have lost control. Either he was driving with high speed or was on the phone while driving.

The truth was none of these reasons and the father had no mistake. The mistake was the car that sped away which drove in front of him while they were on the road in opposite direction. The father was at normal speed but when the car took a left turn and the high beam light blinded the father and he could not open his eyes. This made him lose control as he was caught suddenly. The car driver did not realize what he did or how he became a reason for someone to fall and so he just drove away. Luckily the father and daughter did not have any much damage, but what if something serious happened? Who is responsible for it?

Dear people, most vehicles have an option to dimmer your headlights. While driving in city limits keep your headlights dim and when in a darker and outskirts place you can make it higher. Many do not realize this and drive without even bothering about it. Please, do not be a reason of someone’s death knowingly or unknowingly. Do not take away a child’s father or mother just because you were too ignorant to check your headlights while driving. Here is a beautiful video that explains what I am talking. Share with your family and friends and spread the awareness. Because like you many just do not realize and once they know, I am sure people will be careful.

“I Fear a Relapse”, Says Deepika Padukone. 1379

The trailer of the most awaited Padmavati movie was released making us wait on a tiptoe for the movie to be released soon which is actually on December 1st, 2017 (See the trailer here). While on-screen Rani Padmini fights for her honor, the actress who plays the role, Deepika Padukone is fighting altogether a different battle in her real life.

While shooting for the Happy New Year movie, Deepika was fighting her inner battle of depression. Although she did not realize it then. Her mother who came to visit felt there was something wrong and requested Anna Chandy, a psychiatrist from Bengaluru to talk to her daughter. Though Deepika ignored it for a period of time, she finally recognized her problem and took steps to cure it. However, in a recent event, while talking about the Jauhar scene of Rani Padmini in the movie Padmavati, she revealed that she lives in a constant fear of a relapse of depression. She said “ I don’t think, I am completely over it. There is always a fear of relapse as that phase when it happened is the worst experience in my life”.

Since her opening up about her condition in public, there are numerous articles written about depression and there are plenty of suggestion available for someone who is looking for help. But, the truth is a lot many of the population who are suffering from depression do not know that they have it and they need help. Most of them try to think it is nothing but stress, fatigue and they are over-worked.

Like Deepika said in one of her interviews earlier while talking about her feelings during the time, being sad and being depressed are two different things. When someone is sad, they look sad, but when someone is depressed, most of the times they hide it. They try to behave normally while the feeling of emptiness keeps nagging at them. You do not have to be poor or have to lose something in life to be depressed. Sometimes the feeling of depression has no reason.

How to recognize the signs?

When someone is depressed, you may notice certain changes in them. Such as,

  • Less interested in daily activities
  • Loss of appetite and weight changes (can lose or gain)
  • being angry and irritable most of the times
  • less energised
  • self-loathing
  • reckless behaviors
  • Change in sleeping patterns

These are some of the changes we notice in a depressed person, not for few days but on a regular basis. If you spot these in someone or if you are facing it yourself, get help. There is no age or gender who are affected by depression.

Recognizing and understanding the symptoms of depression is the first step to finding a solution. Once you know, meet a good psychiatrist and get help. There is no shame in finding help to cure a mental illness. We meet our doctors for physical illness. In the same way, sometimes our mind also need that extra help too.

Do not, I repeat do not ever be afraid to ask for help!!! Because you might be surprised that there are so many good people around you who really care and want to help you.