Is marriage – a roller coaster ride or a merry go round?? 1049

Getting married is a wonderful feeling. Every time when I hear a distant cousin or someone telling me that their marriage dates have been decided by the elders and everyone are excited and anxiously waiting to start that new life, I stand on a tiptoe to give my piece of advice. Because am sure every married woman would have thought at least once in their life as “if only someone had told me before that this is how marriage is going to be”. Oh! Well, I’ am prepared that it is most likely that I can get thrown out for unnecessary poking my nose in someone peace and happiness. But trust me there are many things to know before you change your status from single to married.

Here are a few things for you to keep in mind if you are soon going to be married.

  1. On a positive note, everything will not change after marriage if you have found a right partner and if you are in the right relationship. If not, trust me, its going to be a roller coaster ride.

  2. That promise you make that you will care and look after your spouse health (in sickness) will come more often that you would not have dreamed off. So, be ready to be a nurse for life. 😉

  3. You will be surprised to see many old or unnoticed or new habits in your spouse that you were never aware of and……. some of them are really annoying. After all, you have not stayed together as long as you will now after marriage, isn’t it?… Truly they say…’Love is Blind’.

  4. If you think you are marrying a MAN, you are mistaken. Let me correct you here, you are soon to be married to the entire family of your man, not the man alone. So be prepared for all kind of ‘expectations’ Or ‘unrealistic expectations’, I must say!

  5. After marriage, you will realize that there’s no rule book on marriage and things will not work out the same way as your parents worked it out. So if you have any pre-assumptions for ‘how marriage works’, it’s my advice to just demolish all such mental assumptions. Am I scaring you? 😉

  6. You will soon become a superwoman coz things that you thought you could never do, will actually become ‘the part’ of your life. Hey, you need examples? Here they are….., cleaning, washing, wipe vomit and poop(Mind it, it’s not only of your own kids), cooking,  etc

  7. Marriage will help you know your patience and tolerance level. And yes, beware coz you will be exposed to the limits.

  8. The temporary memory loss of men is unaccountable because it will become so often that you will start wondering what if your spouse is beginning to show signs of early amnesia. But yes, you will not be allowed to forget even one single thing, event, incidence, discussion, task etc etc…. Being a woman of the house, you are accountable for remembering everything.So, don’t forget to feed a list of reminders in your mobile. See, only technology will help, no other will!

  9. There can be fights on the silliest of the matter. It’s not a problem as long as you know how to deal with it. Don’t forget to do a course on ‘how to be crafty in relationships’ before prefixing ‘Mrs…..’ to your name.

  10. If you are hoping that your spouse may change after marriage and you try to ignore any issues, then you are wrong. Coz nothing… no one will change as they really don’t want to. Be ready to accept him as it is and without any expectation.

  11. Do not be shocked with the things of similar likings may not be same later on. High chances that you will find more things of both of you disagreeing with each other than agreeable.

  12. Having children is not always a joyful moment. You seriously have to be prepared for it, both physically and mentally. No matter who you have for help, you will be on your own.

  13. After marriage you realize the good looks and beauty that you were attracted in the first place, does not matter at all instead, it is the person within is whom you loved. Decide wisely and shift your criteria now. Oldies says, a good man is long lasting in a relationship than good looks.

  14. Contrary to any phrases such as “my other half”, marriage is two whole people. It is all about knowing about two individuals and there is nothing as the other half. Trust me also when people say “one + one =2” Marriage is one + one = 3. Know well that you are responsible for every act and anything you do.

  15. If it’s an arranged marriage, you may not fall in love immediately after marriage. It takes a time to fall in love. All the best!!

  16. Last but not the least, you will be expected to be a ‘Super compromiser’ regarding your likes, dislikes, career, thoughts, point of view, choice of clothes, choice of food etc etc….You have to compromise on everything. In rare cases, men or his family will. If they do, you are lucky!

All I want to say is being married is fun and exciting but at the same time it is also stressful and can be very confusing initially. It’s OK if nothing works perfectly. It’s all about learning, growing, progressing together. It’s about a lifetime of loving and sharing. As said, being married can be awesome because you will have someone to hold you for life and when in need but only if you choose wisely and prepared mentally.

HAPPY MARRIED LIFE!!

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This little girl is afraid of lights…. WHY?? Watch the video! 232

A couple of days back I and my daughter witnessed an accident of a man with his child driving on a bike. Lot many people gathered at the spot and some helped the victims. I and my daughter stopped and helped the child who did not have any major wounds but was scarred here and there and was bleeding a little. The man too, but his back was hit badly to the road divider. Probably, I am afraid the inside damage may take some time to be revealed, though I hope he will be healed fully. The public started judging that the father must have lost control. Either he was driving with high speed or was on the phone while driving.

The truth was none of these reasons and the father had no mistake. The mistake was the car that sped away which drove in front of him while they were on the road in opposite direction. The father was at normal speed but when the car took a left turn and the high beam light blinded the father and he could not open his eyes. This made him lose control as he was caught suddenly. The car driver did not realize what he did or how he became a reason for someone to fall and so he just drove away. Luckily the father and daughter did not have any much damage, but what if something serious happened? Who is responsible for it?

Dear people, most vehicles have an option to dimmer your headlights. While driving in city limits keep your headlights dim and when in a darker and outskirts place you can make it higher. Many do not realize this and drive without even bothering about it. Please, do not be a reason of someone’s death knowingly or unknowingly. Do not take away a child’s father or mother just because you were too ignorant to check your headlights while driving. Here is a beautiful video that explains what I am talking. Share with your family and friends and spread the awareness. Because like you many just do not realize and once they know, I am sure people will be careful.

“I Fear a Relapse”, Says Deepika Padukone. 1379

The trailer of the most awaited Padmavati movie was released making us wait on a tiptoe for the movie to be released soon which is actually on December 1st, 2017 (See the trailer here). While on-screen Rani Padmini fights for her honor, the actress who plays the role, Deepika Padukone is fighting altogether a different battle in her real life.

While shooting for the Happy New Year movie, Deepika was fighting her inner battle of depression. Although she did not realize it then. Her mother who came to visit felt there was something wrong and requested Anna Chandy, a psychiatrist from Bengaluru to talk to her daughter. Though Deepika ignored it for a period of time, she finally recognized her problem and took steps to cure it. However, in a recent event, while talking about the Jauhar scene of Rani Padmini in the movie Padmavati, she revealed that she lives in a constant fear of a relapse of depression. She said “ I don’t think, I am completely over it. There is always a fear of relapse as that phase when it happened is the worst experience in my life”.

Since her opening up about her condition in public, there are numerous articles written about depression and there are plenty of suggestion available for someone who is looking for help. But, the truth is a lot many of the population who are suffering from depression do not know that they have it and they need help. Most of them try to think it is nothing but stress, fatigue and they are over-worked.

Like Deepika said in one of her interviews earlier while talking about her feelings during the time, being sad and being depressed are two different things. When someone is sad, they look sad, but when someone is depressed, most of the times they hide it. They try to behave normally while the feeling of emptiness keeps nagging at them. You do not have to be poor or have to lose something in life to be depressed. Sometimes the feeling of depression has no reason.

How to recognize the signs?

When someone is depressed, you may notice certain changes in them. Such as,

  • Less interested in daily activities
  • Loss of appetite and weight changes (can lose or gain)
  • being angry and irritable most of the times
  • less energised
  • self-loathing
  • reckless behaviors
  • Change in sleeping patterns

These are some of the changes we notice in a depressed person, not for few days but on a regular basis. If you spot these in someone or if you are facing it yourself, get help. There is no age or gender who are affected by depression.

Recognizing and understanding the symptoms of depression is the first step to finding a solution. Once you know, meet a good psychiatrist and get help. There is no shame in finding help to cure a mental illness. We meet our doctors for physical illness. In the same way, sometimes our mind also need that extra help too.

Do not, I repeat do not ever be afraid to ask for help!!! Because you might be surprised that there are so many good people around you who really care and want to help you.