The Journey of a Woman Into Motherhood 121

The date, 14th May 2017  is marked in the calendar of my daughter and I know the tiny secret that she is trying so hard to keep for gifting me something that expresses her love to me on this mothers day, is itself a feeling of joy.

Everyone is so enthusiastic to celebrate the day and show their love for their mothers. Not that the mothers do not deserve love any other days but then, hey! Like all others, we get to celebrate a day too. Not to mention the high profit from the sales of greeting cards, gifts, jewelry, and to any other woman affinity items.

Talking about mother’s day made me revisit the day I entered into the motherhood. Fast-forward to after nine months to the day I delivered, the day I heard the crying wails of teeny at the same time shrieking voice. Probably, that is the only time when a woman feels happy hearing her baby cry. Did not think how bad I was hurting or how bad the pain was. The world seemed to have stopped for a while and all I wanted is to look at my baby. The doctors brought her face to my face. Due to the C-section, I could not move much of my body but wanted to hold her in my arms immediately.  Only a mother can know what I felt then because I fail to express the feeling in words. The journey into motherhood started then.

The journey of motherhood starts for every woman, when she stops thinking of her own pain, instead starts worrying about the pain of her children. I agree and as I told many times in various of my writings that a father and a mother are equally important. However, there is an invisible bond that connects a mother and her child. The umbilical cord might have been cut at the time of the birth, and yet the bond remains stronger and hence a mother feelings are more intense.

Ask a mother what is her worst fear? You will find the same answer universal or at least the majority of them. The answer will be “my worst fear is that my child is in some danger or in some pain and I cannot help”. Do you agree,  moms? I know you do because I know you’re a mom too!!

To all the mothers who appears to the office with milk and food stains on her dress, who walks around with diapers in her bags always, for those mothers whose feet was killing and yet she jumps into the bed with a story book, for those mothers who let her kid fall and bleed and let him get up on his/her own, For those mothers who stood on a tip-toe to watch her child program on stage and shed a single happy tear, for those mother who worries until her child returns from school/colleges if it is even past 5 minutes late, for those mothers who sits with a book past midnight so that her child studies, for all those mothers who wakes up before the sun rises to pack food for her child, here is my salute to you!! Because there is no one like you and your love is the pure kind!!

Motherhood is a splendid journey that while I taught, I also learned many things. The love, the warmth and the feeling of being a mother is something well expressed when you experience it. So, to all the mothers and to all those who would be a mother one day, let’s celebrate motherhood and enjoy the journey.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mom’s out there!!

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“I Fear a Relapse”, Says Deepika Padukone. 1359

The trailer of the most awaited Padmavati movie was released making us wait on a tiptoe for the movie to be released soon which is actually on December 1st, 2017 (See the trailer here). While on-screen Rani Padmini fights for her honor, the actress who plays the role, Deepika Padukone is fighting altogether a different battle in her real life.

While shooting for the Happy New Year movie, Deepika was fighting her inner battle of depression. Although she did not realize it then. Her mother who came to visit felt there was something wrong and requested Anna Chandy, a psychiatrist from Bengaluru to talk to her daughter. Though Deepika ignored it for a period of time, she finally recognized her problem and took steps to cure it. However, in a recent event, while talking about the Jauhar scene of Rani Padmini in the movie Padmavati, she revealed that she lives in a constant fear of a relapse of depression. She said “ I don’t think, I am completely over it. There is always a fear of relapse as that phase when it happened is the worst experience in my life”.

Since her opening up about her condition in public, there are numerous articles written about depression and there are plenty of suggestion available for someone who is looking for help. But, the truth is a lot many of the population who are suffering from depression do not know that they have it and they need help. Most of them try to think it is nothing but stress, fatigue and they are over-worked.

Like Deepika said in one of her interviews earlier while talking about her feelings during the time, being sad and being depressed are two different things. When someone is sad, they look sad, but when someone is depressed, most of the times they hide it. They try to behave normally while the feeling of emptiness keeps nagging at them. You do not have to be poor or have to lose something in life to be depressed. Sometimes the feeling of depression has no reason.

How to recognize the signs?

When someone is depressed, you may notice certain changes in them. Such as,

  • Less interested in daily activities
  • Loss of appetite and weight changes (can lose or gain)
  • being angry and irritable most of the times
  • less energised
  • self-loathing
  • reckless behaviors
  • Change in sleeping patterns

These are some of the changes we notice in a depressed person, not for few days but on a regular basis. If you spot these in someone or if you are facing it yourself, get help. There is no age or gender who are affected by depression.

Recognizing and understanding the symptoms of depression is the first step to finding a solution. Once you know, meet a good psychiatrist and get help. There is no shame in finding help to cure a mental illness. We meet our doctors for physical illness. In the same way, sometimes our mind also need that extra help too.

Do not, I repeat do not ever be afraid to ask for help!!! Because you might be surprised that there are so many good people around you who really care and want to help you.

Marriage – the funniest ironical institution in India 225

Many people would not be able to figure out the mistake in the following figure. Well, there is no grammatical mistake, there is no printing error or any other fault in it. If you still haven’t figured it out, I have an answer for you, I would like you to face the ironical reality of the modern world or the 21st century where the thoughts and ideologies of Paleolithic age still prevails.

Women have always been considered as a pillar of the society, we have given her various names, we worship her, pamper her and consider her to be the live giver; there is nothing wrong in it. However, it blows my mind to see such kind of ideas still prevail in the society. I personally feel that a woman gets a chance to change her life, the first time she is born, the second time her life changes when she gets married and the third time she changes her life when she gives birth to a new life. But, amidst all this ebb and flow of life cycle, why is there a question that she needs to answer every time. Why is there a need to prove that she can equally love her parent and in-laws? Well, if you feel that I am proclaiming something different, then you must have a look at the picture here.

I find arrange marriages to be the funniest institution in India. Irrespective of the fact that I am a party to it, I still believe that it has some funny traditions and beliefs flowing in it. I would like to highlight a few-

  • The first thing that we say in India is, “Shaadi hamesha barabari ke khaandaan mein honi chahiye (One should get married in a family who is equal in status with the other),” Well, if that is true, why this equivalence is only restricted to money, why no one questions on thoughts, beliefs, ideas, vision etc. Yes, money is important to run a family, but imagine a situation where you have a big house, a big car etc. but both husband and wife are never on the same page. Is that the mantra for a happy married life? At least I don’t feel so.
  • Another popular phrase which we commonly here during the marriage is that “Shaadi to parivaaro ka mail hai ( Marriage is not between two people, it is the bonding of two families,” if that is so, why a girl has to put her in-laws first and ignore her parents. If that’s not the truth, I would again request you to run through the picture above. Why can’t both the families co-exist. Although, things are changing, the ground reality is different.
  • One of the common things I have heard is, “ Ladki ko sasural ke hisab se adjust karna chahiye (girl must learn to compromise and live as per her in-laws and husband),” there is nothing wrong in it and I too believe in it, but what if we tweaked this scenario, like both the parties can make slight adjustments so that everyone is happy and the guy or the husband doesn’t have to take sides.

What I have written is not new or neither revolutionary, I have actually started to find our society to be hilarious. We are never in a phase to create an equal world, rather we always pester on the fact that one has to be above, I think this hierarchical ideology is still haunting us since the time of Britishers. I don’t know how much change will come in the times to come, but, even if one person transforms after reading this, I will feel content.