The True Face of a Resume!! 309

I am not sure how many of you believe in a resume but I for one, have never believed in one. It may sure tell us the educational details or some other information which a person can directly tell while in an interview. Sure it saves a lot of time, yet I wonder why an interviewer asks them again though. Such are the times our minds keep screaming “It’s already written in my CV, can’t you see it, sir/madam?” Oh! Well, our face might be deceptive at that time. A resume can never tell you so many things and a lot many times talented people may lose a chance of meeting their destiny or companies may not be able to hire good and talented people just because their resumes did not fancy the interviewer’s requirement. Given the chance to write one cool resume, what would you write? Here is mine.

Objective

To find a job that actually pays without asking me to work more than my limits, giving plenty of free time to relax and have a word with family and friends while I catch up with some of the work.

Personal Skills

a) I might be the first – in walking out of the office doors at the evening

b) The best talking and chatting companion you can ever find

c) cat-like reflexes- The moment you see me and decide there is something wrong in my work and needs discussion, Meow… I am not there.

d) I can sleep well any time of the day and anywhere.

e) I have good communication skills. By phone, by SMS, by group chats, by emails, and also through other Internet facilities that you provide.

f) I know my way around MS Word.

Experience

I am well experienced in any kind of arguments and can fairly win. I have a good experience in eating all kind of tasty vegetarian foods. I have good experience in trying to control gaining weight. I can tell you well as how to write a CV, just like this one. I am a good listener you see because I usually don’t try too hard to listen to what other person is talking. I am extremely good at researching on Google for information. Am a good dreamer, as I have spent most of my time in day-dreaming.

Education

I can read and write. I am educated enough to understand the basic languages ( ie., Hindi, English, Kannada and so on).

I have fairly got through a degree without trying too hard to pay off my pockets. Half way through various other certificate programs. We shall discuss that when we meet.

Reference

Me- Because who else can tell you better about me than I?

There, now you know everything about me, lets meet and talk about some important things that I might have missed mentioning here and you can give me the joining papers. You can also share what would be my salary on joining without feeling much shy. I am quite friendly and adaptable person.

See Ya soon,

XYZ

[Got any other crazy ideas for a resume. Share in the comments and let’s have a good laugh together]

Previous ArticleNext Article

How I was Duped? 178

This happened many years back, probably in 2011, early months of my marriage. Till date, I still feel ashamed of my naivety. However, I would like to share my story with you all, hoping to warn, if you find yourself in any such a situation. Although I doubt anyone can be as stupid as me, but opportunist and cheaters are found everywhere. So be warned and be careful.

It was one of those busy and hot summer days and I was totally engrossed in my work at home when suddenly the door bell rang. I’ am always careful not opening the door to strangers and so opened the window to check who it was. There was a salesman who wanted to do a survey on a new toothbrush that was introduced into the market. He said he will give me three brand new toothbrush for free and he will be back after a week. I am supposed to use the brush and answer few questions for his survey. Along with that, he will also give me a ticket with a number which has a lucky draw. There were different prizes and if my ticket wins he will get the prizes along with him the next week. All in all, I thought there is no harm in taking those sealed brushes with the ticket. I took them and kept it aside and forgot all about it.

After a week, the same man appeared in front of my door again. I remembered him very well. He said I have won some gifts worth 800/- Rs items and he showed them all to me. He asked me for the ticket. I searched all around the house but in vain and told him that I have lost the lucky draw slip. He told me that there is another customer who have won a refrigerator and those people have shifted their house. He can give that lucky draw slip to me along with the other gifts that I have won and all I need to do is pay him 600/- Rs and I will be getting the refrigerator too. He said he will also give me his phone number and his office number if I need to check. For a moment I could not believe my luck and got carried away. For more than a year I was talking to my husband about buying a new refrigerator as ours was an old model and desperately wanted one.

Now, this man tells me that I would be getting a refrigerator of a lucky draw, was like a God sent a gift and I did not think further. Though I was doubtful, the man convinced me that I need to pay first as he needs to report about the changes in his office to send the refrigerator to my address. Finally, I gave in and paid him 600 Rs and took the other gifts. He said he will be back within an hour. Once he left, I had to finish some work. Later when I got free, I checked the other free items that he gave me and found them all used items and some of them broken though the packs were new. Then is when I realized of foul play and called the phone numbers he gave me. One of the numbers went to a gold shop and the other to a placement consultancy. I realized that I was duped by the salesman and there is no refrigerator on its way reaching our home.

I consoled myself thinking that I was lucky enough that the man did not hit me on my head and steal the house. I learned my lesson and since then I am always careful with people around who wants to sell something to us.

Body Language of Your Pets 276

The other day when I was telling to a couple of friends that I talk to Bruno (our family dog) and he actually responds to everything I say, my friends did not believe me. In fact, they even started to tease me that I have gone complete crazy of our dog. Though crazy that I am of him, most pet parents understand very well what I mean, don’t you? Although we all know that pets learn our commands and even our language pretty fast, we humans are a tad bit slow in understanding their language that they express through their eyes, barks, tail, and their postures. Being with them for a while will automatically teach you all those things. However, when you are a new parent of a cute puppy and do not get some of your dog behaviors, here is a starter in understanding them. You would be able to care for them better when you know what are they trying to communicate.

Being alert

Oh well, dogs are usually always alert but not necessarily in a safe place like their homes. But when there is something happening around that picks at their interest and curiosity they get extra cautious and alert. Wide eyes, ears forward, mouth tightly closed, tail moving slightly side and side is all a sign of being alert and analyzing the situation is of threat or not.

Aggressive and ready to bite

Dogs bite when they sense some kind of threat and that is an act of defending themselves from danger. A stiff tail, wide eyes, forward ears, lips curled, and showing the teeth along with gums and body little forward to jump immediately. When you see a dog in this stance it’s better to move quickly without making sounds. Screaming and shouting, alarms and scares them even more.

Playful

[aesop_image img=”https://gallinukkad.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/alert.jpg” offset=”-100px” align=”left” lightbox=”on” captionposition=”left” revealfx=”off”]

It’s a pity many people do not understand this behavior. Most dogs come running wagging their tail, with ears up, dilated pupils, tongue out and bending forward with the front end paws. It means the dog is just being playful and is happy seeing you. They just want you to play ball or the tug.

Friendly and polite

Have you ever met a dog who, as soon as seeing you starts licking you all over? Well, do not shoo it off because licking is their way of expressing how happy they are of seeing you. Bent and flat ears, round puppy face, showing belly to rub, curved body are all signs of being loved.

Respect

When our children sit showing their back to us, we know what it means. Of course, they are angry, isn’t it? But when a dog shows its back to you, it means they are showing you respect.

I love you

[aesop_image img=”https://gallinukkad.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/featured-pic.jpg” offset=”-100px” align=”right” lightbox=”on” captionposition=”left” revealfx=”off”]

Get a dog if you want to feel loved every day. Because they never miss expressing those feelings. It just we need to understand their non-talking way of communication. If your pet stretches in front of you in a way of greeting, he or she surely telling you those three words.

Do not greet a dog this way

I am just so tired of explaining people about the way they greet a dog when they see one. I know, they look so adorable and all you want to do is cuddle. But they don’t think you are cute too. Do not ever greet a dog by waving hands over their head, bending in front and patting on the head, hugging suddenly, staring into their eyes, screaming as “you are so adorable”, or by grabbing and kissing.

Right way to greet a dog

All you have to do is give it some time, stand without an eye contact, let the dog approach you. Keep your side or back bent slightly towards the dog. Once the dog’s guard is down after sniffing you, pat or stroke him on the side or back but definitely not on the head. You will soon make friends with that cute little puppy you adore.

Trust me! There is no better companion than having a dog around!!