When with In-laws do as they do to have fringe benefits! 623

Like all other girls, I too feared of having the mother-in-law and dealing with her attitude and the challenge is bigger in the marriage, that is love cum arranged as mine. Challenge is to prove that we as a couple have made the right choice, that our families would not regret.

 

[aesop_image img=”https://gallinukkad.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/grandparent.jpg” offset=”-100px” align=”left” lightbox=”on” captionposition=”left” revealfx=”off”]

Today, after eight years of successful marriage, where I have bagged one of the best mother-in-law and daughter-in-law Jodi award in my social circle. I feel blessed the way she has accepted me and treated me. These eight years while I was working on my career wholeheartedly there she was being a perfect mom to my children. My school friends at coffee kitty tell me how jealous they are of me because of my mother-in-law. I work ( have to travel to NCR a lot because of company’s meetings), I go for outings with friends, I go for vacations with my husband( minus kids) and my mom-in-law understand everything and supports me.

Drooling already !! Ha ha! Mother-in-laws like this can be easily available to anyone. For this, I do not want to take whole credit myself.I did accept them as my family wholeheartedly and Yes, it was her also, who tried to accept me well. But what did I do, to be the apple of my mother-in-law’s eyes? Here is the catch! I just did what her children were doing. Like, her children were giving her utmost care and importance always, asking her opinions at every point, loving and praising her cooking skills always. Apart from all these, like other daughter-in-laws, I never tried to prove myself best and perfect from what she is.  Rather, I made her comfortable, so that I may not seem different from her kids. Further, I presented my own self as a starter and not as an expert of anything. Because of this dumbness, my mother-in-law took initiative to teach me her ways so well that now I hardly fail in any task now. The whole process of learning has really knitted us closer and even trained me so well in the daily tasks and other rituals or procedures.

[aesop_image img=”https://gallinukkad.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/mother-in-law.jpg” offset=”-100px” align=”right” lightbox=”on” captionposition=”left” revealfx=”off”]

Ahaa !! fringe benefits! She doesn’t want me to cook always but occasionally. Pamper me as her own child. Advice and guide me as my parents and if gone wrong, forgive and forgets. She places me ahead of her own daughters. She handles my children in my absence. And pampers me like anything. My own biological mother seems to be jealous and insecure sometimes because of my relation with my mother- in-law and calls it’s my luck.

Though I call it my positive perspective towards life. When my own children call her mum and me as Sheena, I hardly find it awkward. Rather I find it more okay. I want them to have more close relation with her, as what she can teach from her experience I cannot even think.  I believe, Attitude is essential but Ego is not needed at all when you want to make your relation a hit.

Previous ArticleNext Article

“I Fear a Relapse”, Says Deepika Padukone. 1357

The trailer of the most awaited Padmavati movie was released making us wait on a tiptoe for the movie to be released soon which is actually on December 1st, 2017 (See the trailer here). While on-screen Rani Padmini fights for her honor, the actress who plays the role, Deepika Padukone is fighting altogether a different battle in her real life.

While shooting for the Happy New Year movie, Deepika was fighting her inner battle of depression. Although she did not realize it then. Her mother who came to visit felt there was something wrong and requested Anna Chandy, a psychiatrist from Bengaluru to talk to her daughter. Though Deepika ignored it for a period of time, she finally recognized her problem and took steps to cure it. However, in a recent event, while talking about the Jauhar scene of Rani Padmini in the movie Padmavati, she revealed that she lives in a constant fear of a relapse of depression. She said “ I don’t think, I am completely over it. There is always a fear of relapse as that phase when it happened is the worst experience in my life”.

Since her opening up about her condition in public, there are numerous articles written about depression and there are plenty of suggestion available for someone who is looking for help. But, the truth is a lot many of the population who are suffering from depression do not know that they have it and they need help. Most of them try to think it is nothing but stress, fatigue and they are over-worked.

Like Deepika said in one of her interviews earlier while talking about her feelings during the time, being sad and being depressed are two different things. When someone is sad, they look sad, but when someone is depressed, most of the times they hide it. They try to behave normally while the feeling of emptiness keeps nagging at them. You do not have to be poor or have to lose something in life to be depressed. Sometimes the feeling of depression has no reason.

How to recognize the signs?

When someone is depressed, you may notice certain changes in them. Such as,

  • Less interested in daily activities
  • Loss of appetite and weight changes (can lose or gain)
  • being angry and irritable most of the times
  • less energised
  • self-loathing
  • reckless behaviors
  • Change in sleeping patterns

These are some of the changes we notice in a depressed person, not for few days but on a regular basis. If you spot these in someone or if you are facing it yourself, get help. There is no age or gender who are affected by depression.

Recognizing and understanding the symptoms of depression is the first step to finding a solution. Once you know, meet a good psychiatrist and get help. There is no shame in finding help to cure a mental illness. We meet our doctors for physical illness. In the same way, sometimes our mind also need that extra help too.

Do not, I repeat do not ever be afraid to ask for help!!! Because you might be surprised that there are so many good people around you who really care and want to help you.

Marriage – the funniest ironical institution in India 221

Many people would not be able to figure out the mistake in the following figure. Well, there is no grammatical mistake, there is no printing error or any other fault in it. If you still haven’t figured it out, I have an answer for you, I would like you to face the ironical reality of the modern world or the 21st century where the thoughts and ideologies of Paleolithic age still prevails.

Women have always been considered as a pillar of the society, we have given her various names, we worship her, pamper her and consider her to be the live giver; there is nothing wrong in it. However, it blows my mind to see such kind of ideas still prevail in the society. I personally feel that a woman gets a chance to change her life, the first time she is born, the second time her life changes when she gets married and the third time she changes her life when she gives birth to a new life. But, amidst all this ebb and flow of life cycle, why is there a question that she needs to answer every time. Why is there a need to prove that she can equally love her parent and in-laws? Well, if you feel that I am proclaiming something different, then you must have a look at the picture here.

I find arrange marriages to be the funniest institution in India. Irrespective of the fact that I am a party to it, I still believe that it has some funny traditions and beliefs flowing in it. I would like to highlight a few-

  • The first thing that we say in India is, “Shaadi hamesha barabari ke khaandaan mein honi chahiye (One should get married in a family who is equal in status with the other),” Well, if that is true, why this equivalence is only restricted to money, why no one questions on thoughts, beliefs, ideas, vision etc. Yes, money is important to run a family, but imagine a situation where you have a big house, a big car etc. but both husband and wife are never on the same page. Is that the mantra for a happy married life? At least I don’t feel so.
  • Another popular phrase which we commonly here during the marriage is that “Shaadi to parivaaro ka mail hai ( Marriage is not between two people, it is the bonding of two families,” if that is so, why a girl has to put her in-laws first and ignore her parents. If that’s not the truth, I would again request you to run through the picture above. Why can’t both the families co-exist. Although, things are changing, the ground reality is different.
  • One of the common things I have heard is, “ Ladki ko sasural ke hisab se adjust karna chahiye (girl must learn to compromise and live as per her in-laws and husband),” there is nothing wrong in it and I too believe in it, but what if we tweaked this scenario, like both the parties can make slight adjustments so that everyone is happy and the guy or the husband doesn’t have to take sides.

What I have written is not new or neither revolutionary, I have actually started to find our society to be hilarious. We are never in a phase to create an equal world, rather we always pester on the fact that one has to be above, I think this hierarchical ideology is still haunting us since the time of Britishers. I don’t know how much change will come in the times to come, but, even if one person transforms after reading this, I will feel content.