Why did you do this, Pratyusha? 94

Oh, 1st April, the April fool’s Day, as we call it. Today all social channels, WhatsApp etc are flooded with all types of jokes and funny quotes but this date reminds me of something else also. It’s the day when we lost a young and talented girl as she went far away; I am talking about Pratyusha Banerjee, our own Anandi of one of the most popular TV serial, Balika Vadhu. Yes, it’s her death anniversary today, Pratyusha committed suicide on 1st April 2016.

Balika Vadhu was very popular as it raised many issues related to women. The young and bold leading lady of this serial, Pratuyusha earned a place in every woman’s heart but was committing suicide her destiny? I am not here to discuss her life, what I want to focus here is the word ‘suicide’. What I fail to understand here is how any one person, one relationship, one circumstance, one event or one weak moment in your life can become more important than your life itself.

Everyday, in the newspaper we read so many cases of students committing suicide because of depression due to non-performance and fear of failing.

My question here is why do we make something or somebody so important that it becomes more significant than our own life. I am not undermining the importance of adjustment to come to an understanding in a relationship but not at the cost of your self-respect and definitely not your life.

The death of Pratuysha Banerjee had really shaken me. I didn’t know her as a person but what she portrayed on screen was an ideal for many. A bold girl with no tolerance towards injustice, a girl who had her own thoughts and guts to voice it. But what she did in her real life was really heart breaking. I really don’t know what she must have gone through.

But, all I want to ask- Is suicide the only option?

Pratyusha was a young, talented and a beautiful actress. She was just 24yrs and why she had no option left other than ending her own life, really bothers me. Where as we have so many people who have survived tragedies in their life and still fighting each day to live. Then why one relationship for her was ‘the’ thing in her life?

In my view, the crucial reason is the absence of love, love for own self. We are so busy pleasing others that we neglect the most important person/thing in our lives – our self. I am not against love but I have objections for love which is killing you. If somebody is making you feel wasted, unwanted, humiliated then I think you must end that relationship immediately, not your life. Kill that relationship before it kills you.

I understand that sometimes the situations in life become harsh and unbearable but the moment you feel like you are done, take the time to think logically. What about you and your desires that you had for your life? You are doing this for whom, for somebody who doesn’t care. So is it really worth?

Believe me, every single living being, from a beggar on the street to Ambanis in their Antilia, are facing their own part of struggles in life and we all have weak moments in our lives but in those weak moments when you feel all doors closed, you are stuck and the thoughts of ending your life dominates you, just rise and ask yourself is suicide the only way? What about your parents and loved ones who will be grieve stricken for rest of their lives?  Just do a reality check is that one person or one circumstance is bigger than all those who love you. Definitely NO.

I read it somewhere,

People who die by suicide, don’t want to end their life, they want to end their pain.

That’s exactly what my point is, why to end life if you only want to end that pain inside? Don’t you agree with me?

So, everyone who is reading this, no matter what life offers you face it boldly, talk to your friends & family and trust me there’s always a way out. Get rid of that sadness and the reason that is pushing you towards that end. Life is a beautiful gift of God and you have no rights to end it, even if it’s yours.

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“I Fear a Relapse”, Says Deepika Padukone. 1359

The trailer of the most awaited Padmavati movie was released making us wait on a tiptoe for the movie to be released soon which is actually on December 1st, 2017 (See the trailer here). While on-screen Rani Padmini fights for her honor, the actress who plays the role, Deepika Padukone is fighting altogether a different battle in her real life.

While shooting for the Happy New Year movie, Deepika was fighting her inner battle of depression. Although she did not realize it then. Her mother who came to visit felt there was something wrong and requested Anna Chandy, a psychiatrist from Bengaluru to talk to her daughter. Though Deepika ignored it for a period of time, she finally recognized her problem and took steps to cure it. However, in a recent event, while talking about the Jauhar scene of Rani Padmini in the movie Padmavati, she revealed that she lives in a constant fear of a relapse of depression. She said “ I don’t think, I am completely over it. There is always a fear of relapse as that phase when it happened is the worst experience in my life”.

Since her opening up about her condition in public, there are numerous articles written about depression and there are plenty of suggestion available for someone who is looking for help. But, the truth is a lot many of the population who are suffering from depression do not know that they have it and they need help. Most of them try to think it is nothing but stress, fatigue and they are over-worked.

Like Deepika said in one of her interviews earlier while talking about her feelings during the time, being sad and being depressed are two different things. When someone is sad, they look sad, but when someone is depressed, most of the times they hide it. They try to behave normally while the feeling of emptiness keeps nagging at them. You do not have to be poor or have to lose something in life to be depressed. Sometimes the feeling of depression has no reason.

How to recognize the signs?

When someone is depressed, you may notice certain changes in them. Such as,

  • Less interested in daily activities
  • Loss of appetite and weight changes (can lose or gain)
  • being angry and irritable most of the times
  • less energised
  • self-loathing
  • reckless behaviors
  • Change in sleeping patterns

These are some of the changes we notice in a depressed person, not for few days but on a regular basis. If you spot these in someone or if you are facing it yourself, get help. There is no age or gender who are affected by depression.

Recognizing and understanding the symptoms of depression is the first step to finding a solution. Once you know, meet a good psychiatrist and get help. There is no shame in finding help to cure a mental illness. We meet our doctors for physical illness. In the same way, sometimes our mind also need that extra help too.

Do not, I repeat do not ever be afraid to ask for help!!! Because you might be surprised that there are so many good people around you who really care and want to help you.

Marriage – the funniest ironical institution in India 225

Many people would not be able to figure out the mistake in the following figure. Well, there is no grammatical mistake, there is no printing error or any other fault in it. If you still haven’t figured it out, I have an answer for you, I would like you to face the ironical reality of the modern world or the 21st century where the thoughts and ideologies of Paleolithic age still prevails.

Women have always been considered as a pillar of the society, we have given her various names, we worship her, pamper her and consider her to be the live giver; there is nothing wrong in it. However, it blows my mind to see such kind of ideas still prevail in the society. I personally feel that a woman gets a chance to change her life, the first time she is born, the second time her life changes when she gets married and the third time she changes her life when she gives birth to a new life. But, amidst all this ebb and flow of life cycle, why is there a question that she needs to answer every time. Why is there a need to prove that she can equally love her parent and in-laws? Well, if you feel that I am proclaiming something different, then you must have a look at the picture here.

I find arrange marriages to be the funniest institution in India. Irrespective of the fact that I am a party to it, I still believe that it has some funny traditions and beliefs flowing in it. I would like to highlight a few-

  • The first thing that we say in India is, “Shaadi hamesha barabari ke khaandaan mein honi chahiye (One should get married in a family who is equal in status with the other),” Well, if that is true, why this equivalence is only restricted to money, why no one questions on thoughts, beliefs, ideas, vision etc. Yes, money is important to run a family, but imagine a situation where you have a big house, a big car etc. but both husband and wife are never on the same page. Is that the mantra for a happy married life? At least I don’t feel so.
  • Another popular phrase which we commonly here during the marriage is that “Shaadi to parivaaro ka mail hai ( Marriage is not between two people, it is the bonding of two families,” if that is so, why a girl has to put her in-laws first and ignore her parents. If that’s not the truth, I would again request you to run through the picture above. Why can’t both the families co-exist. Although, things are changing, the ground reality is different.
  • One of the common things I have heard is, “ Ladki ko sasural ke hisab se adjust karna chahiye (girl must learn to compromise and live as per her in-laws and husband),” there is nothing wrong in it and I too believe in it, but what if we tweaked this scenario, like both the parties can make slight adjustments so that everyone is happy and the guy or the husband doesn’t have to take sides.

What I have written is not new or neither revolutionary, I have actually started to find our society to be hilarious. We are never in a phase to create an equal world, rather we always pester on the fact that one has to be above, I think this hierarchical ideology is still haunting us since the time of Britishers. I don’t know how much change will come in the times to come, but, even if one person transforms after reading this, I will feel content.