I wonder why it’s so easy for my hubby to organise or attend all the get-togethers with friends so frequently but me as a woman, as a wife and mother it is a task. I feel friendship is a unique relationship as we choose our friends ourselves but as we age it stands at the bottom of the hierarchy of relationships unlike the other voluntary relationships like family, marriage, and love. You wouldn’t go months without speaking to or be seeing your significant ones like your parents, spouse or kids but you might go that long without contacting a friend.
Why for us the friendship has to fade as we age? How many of us are still in regular contact with the friends we had in our school or college time? Hardly few of us. I have figured out few reasons to it-
Especially for women, getting married is an important chapter which tends to bring in the huge amount of change and responsibilities towards your house, in-laws, spouse and other family members.You are devoted to everyone and forget to live YOUR life. Though marriage is a joyous life event, it certainly deserves a great amount of your time and attention which tends to loosen the threads of friendship.
Bringing a little bundle of love into the world changes things as well. Kids especially when are young requires 24*7 maintenance deals. Your focus is no longer on yourself, but on your little one instead. Time starts to run short of one life in caring your little one and takes over your friendship.
Friends at workplace
Even if you are working, the friendship with your colleagues at the work place is generally short lived. When you are working together, spending a lot of working hours together it’s easy to become friends.We get close during certain periods of our lives because we are sharing common experiences together. But once you leave the job these type to friendship tend to drift apart.
Unlike pre marriage era, we become dependant on our spouses for everything…emotionally, physically, mentally and financially too. Our decisions are not ours only. Even our routines are dependent on others in the family.Going out with friends depends on whether your spouse or in laws approve of it or not.
As we grow or priority changes in a sense that our responsibility increases and it takes over our previous fun filled life and we move to the real hardships and challenges of life. It does not mean that we do not love our friends anymore; it means the focus has been just shifted.
Have your friendships changed with age? How are you going to make sure that your old friendship flourishes with age?