Why is ‘Adoption’ unapproved by society for an unmarried single parent? 1480

I was preparing for sleep last night when my friend Asmi called me up. She was sounding flustered. More than flustered, there was a rage in her voice. It happens rarely that Asmi cries. She is 30, strong, self-reliant and a career-oriented woman. She didn’t marry because she chose not to marry. There is no catastrophic heartbreak story behind. Her focus has always been on her career. She is practical and staunched.

I understood her heart is really heavy else there has never been any place for tears in her eyes.

I quizzed her the reason.

“I am not crying because am sad, I am crying because am helpless and exasperated.” Asmi retorted.

I didn’t interrupt and allowed her to put her heart out.

“Preeti, I called my mother last night and had an argument with her.” she continued.

“I told my mother that I want to adopt a baby. Before I could say anything further she started yelling at me. She scolded me saying, Asmi already because of your decision of not getting married we are in pain. Why are you adding troubles to our lives? If you really want to adopt a baby just forget us. We have to live in this society and will have to answer people around. You have always done whatever you want but this time you are crossing your limits.

If not today, maybe tomorrow you will get married. Who will marry a girl with one child? Such things appear good in movies only. You better start focusing on marriage now. Preeti, My mother wasn’t even ready to listen to my thoughts”. Asmi started sobbing.

I really had no words to console her. Her thoughts were irreproachable and valiant.

But we cannot even disregard the fact that we live in a hypocrite society. When celebrities like Sushmita, Angelina, Sunny and more adopt a baby, we eulogize, lionize, praise their thoughts and we consider it as an act of kindness. We appreciate their humanity. We deduce that they gave a new life to someone. But when anyone from our own house even thinks of adoption we make them go through ignominy by coming up with the questions like is there any medical issue? Are you not straight? Why don’t you marry and then plan your own baby? Why are you trying to shame your parents? Why don’t you understand this baby won’t be your own blood? Are you kidding? Etc.

I’ve read somewhere that parenthood requires love and not DNA. I wish we really understand that. Your genes won’t define your family, our family is built with love care and respect. There are many people who do have a heart for adoption but fear comes in between. Fear of society.

I wish people understand that adopting a baby whether you are single or married isn’t a crime.

Adoption will not only give a baby a family but will also give us a special feeling. A feeling of being human. Probably the purpose we all are here for, giving life a life.

 

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Does it really make sense to worship Durga when you don’t understand what she truly stands for? 491

 

While checking my FB timeline today,  I was overwhelmed with ‘Happy Ashtami’ wishes. It was so lovely to see Maa Durga in so many different styles and designs. I was scrolling for more and was stopped by a small post by a young girl.  The post had a small message, a question rather straight to the society.

The post said-

Also known as the warrior goddess, Maa Durga stands for strength. She is the epitome of beauty, power, gender equality and knowledge. Increasingly, one looks at her more as a symbol of feminine power rather than a divine mother, for she stands for empowerment.

Just like her, women in India are powerful, righteous and courageous. However, this is truly ironical to what we are witnessing around us. Unfortunately, the society is filled with minds that continue undermining the voice of a woman and treat her as a ‘second-class’ citizen. It’s disheartening to see this hypocritical behavior across our cities, towns, villages, workplace, universities and schools. Does it really make sense to worship her when you don’t understand what she truly stands for?

And I was…left with no words….!!

Does it really make sense to worship Durga when you don’t understand what she truly stands for?

 

We all believe that Goddess Durga is the Supreme Goddess, is the embodiment of Pure Love, Courage, and Divine Light.

She is-

Shakti – Energy

Bhakti – Devotion

Mukti – Liberation

Today on the occasion of Ashtami, I would like to request all that if you worship her as the power of the Supreme Being that preserves moral order and righteousness in the creation and believe that she protects mankind from evil and misery by destroying evil forces then start acknowledging the presence of  ‘Durga’ in women around you. Trust me, this is what each woman wants to say aloud to everybody.

She is your Mother,  Sister, Wife, daughter, Friend, Colleague……She is Durga!

YES….Her power reflects in every woman!

Happy Durga Ashtami to All!!

My Life… My Rules..!! But is Your Life Yours Alone? 695

It’s become quite a common line among most teenagers every time they were questioned or been advised on how they move with things in life. I have come across so many positive lines and articles that says your life is yours alone and no one will step up for it. It is only in your own hands that how you rule it.

These things are true, but what they mean is entirely different from the way it is used among the younger generations today. The way the trend is going, many like to say the famous line as “My life, my rules!” bluntly without thinking the consequences and the situation. Yes, our life is for us to live but we must not forget that our life is linked with many others living around us. People who care for us and who love us.

Every time I hear someone tell me it’s their life and they like to do things as however they want, it makes me feel sad because people just don’t know what life is all about.

Do you still think your life is yours alone? Here are a few reasons that explain why it is not-

1. Your life matters to your family

The moment you were born you become a part of someone’s life. Your parents and people who may love you. As you grow older there are lot many others who walk in your life. Some stay and some move on. But is your life alone? No! Your life is linked to many others who love to see you happy. We need to give something to get what we need.

When people decide to take off their life, they do not realize that they do not actually have the complete rights to do that. Because they fail to understand that it is easy for the person who dies, but it is difficult for the person who lives knowing that the one person who he or she loved most is not there with them anymore. So, I strongly deny that your life is not yours alone.

2. We live in a community

A person who tells you that he or she does not care about what the society thinks is the first person who is usually lying. People say that to convince themselves that they do not care, in truth they actually care. It is a reverse mechanism. When you are faced with rejection or some kind of negative responses to something or by someone, immediately many try to think that they do not care. Every human craves for recognition and to be identified for their potential. Instead of showing ignorance, it’s better to face criticism in a constructive way, After all, it is the same society which is going to give you all the things that you desire to be happy. Your existence is linked with the society you live in.

3. Following rules may help sometime

Agreed that some rules are baseless, but many are useful for us. Some rules are made for our own safety and protection. Most often the younger generation becomes agitated when they are restricted to many things. The first thing what we need to recognize is anything too much is not good. It is not the problem of having rules instead it is the problem of not knowing how to deal with them.

4. It is selfish

When someone says it’s my lifestyle, do not meddle, it sounds too prude and selfish to me. There are some people who try to be an unnecessary part of our lives when we are not interested. Some are even toxic. However, there are different ways to make sure that you keep such people at bay. But the way people go on with a rant of “My life! My rules” seems totally a selfish attitude. Sometimes it is also an escapism of laziness in order to avoid taking responsibilities.

We, humans, are social creatures and we need interactions with other people around us whether we like it or not, to survive. We may choose not to care but there are people who care for us more than we like to acknowledge. Hence, do not ever forget that your life is not yours alone. Sometimes we live by rules made by someone else just to keep the people we love happy even though it may not be something we wanted. Trust me, the result will always keep us happy in the end too. Life is to share and live together and care for one another. Embrace it, Enjoy it and Love it with everyone else in it.