Why Mother In Law tries to snatch her son away from her Daughter In Law? 1386

As a daughter in law myself, I know that this relationship is complex and tangled. This mother in law; daughter in-law relationship is like a weighing scale, the newly wed son is like a needle who is constantly pulled from one side to another. And the balance is IMPOSSIBLE. Isn’t it??

When a marriage happens, the mother in law is very happy to have a well educated, beautiful etc etc ‘Bahu’( daughter in law) but just after all ceremonies get over, you see a completely different MIL. The outlook of the young, progressive woman that was flaunted before now becomes a matter of constant criticism in the family.

The insecurity of losing her son to a woman who has just entered his life becomes so strong that a mother in law is blinded to the fact that her son’s attraction towards the new bride is damn natural and biological too. There is a new relationship in his life now and there’s no need to initiate a power struggle. Sometimes this power struggle not only creates irreversible differences in the couple’s life but makes the life of a new bride abusive and unbearable.

Here are few silliest specimen of that ‘typical’ thoughts that make mothers in law insecure and berserk that she unnecessarily initiates a never ending tiff in this relationship:

1. Until today, my son used to ask me what to wear, but now ‘Kal Ki aai’ (one who has just entered his life) decides for him and he also asks her only.

So what?? If your son wants to ask his wife, who knows better about latest fashion trends, what’s the harm?

2. I am the mother and I know best for my son. Who is she to advice him on matters?

Come on dear MIL, the girl with whom your son is married is educated and qualified enough to advice him on all matters. Why don’t you trust your choice, if you selected her for your son and even your son’s choice if its a love marriage?

3. My son used to tell me his choice of food but today he just asks his wife to cook for him.

So what Mataji? If a new bride wants to cook something for her husband, it is only out of love not to prove you something. In fact, share recipes with her so that she can cook as good as you. After all, she is taking care of your son’s appetite.

4. Before marriage he used to take me out with him every time but now he wants to take his wife alone for dinners.

Why can’t you understand that even she needs private moments with your son, physically and mentally both? You need not accompany them on every outing, movie, dinner. After marriage, family time is once a while not every time. The daughter in law has no issues with you spending time with your son. After all, you are the reason to his being.

5. Earlier I used to sit in the front seat of his car but now my daughter in law has all the privileges.

What’s wrong in that? If your ‘Bahu’ sits in front in the car holding your son’s hand while he is driving. It will only strengthen their relationship as life partners. You seated on the back seat sometimes will not make you less mother.

6. Whenever he used to be late in the office, he used to call me to inform. Today he calls only his wife.

Your daughter in law is as concerned as you are for your son. You should be happy that there’s somebody who takes care and loves him as much as you do. Why be jealous?

7. My daughter in law constantly tries to control my son, wants to snatch him away from me and I am losing my house, my son to her.

Why would she do that? You will remain his mother and her, the wife. There is no competition. So stop taking her as your competitor in the house.

Aren’t the above reasons sound funny and silly?

I want to tell all MILs out there that…….. don’t forget the fact that you all were not born mothers-in-law.

You were born daughters, grew to be women, then new brides, wives, mothers and then mothers-in-law. As a woman, you know the pain of adjusting to a new environment after marriage, you must help your son’s wife adapt instead of knocking her down on every occasion.

 

All I want to say here is….Dear mothers in law, please be prepared emotionally for this inevitability or else don’t marry your sons just for the sake of it.

Note: I know and admit that Not all mothers-in-law are thoughtless, senseless and cold towards their daughters-in-law but they are really RARE. Aren’t they? 😉

 

 

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My Life… My Rules..!! But is Your Life Yours Alone? 695

It’s become quite a common line among most teenagers every time they were questioned or been advised on how they move with things in life. I have come across so many positive lines and articles that says your life is yours alone and no one will step up for it. It is only in your own hands that how you rule it.

These things are true, but what they mean is entirely different from the way it is used among the younger generations today. The way the trend is going, many like to say the famous line as “My life, my rules!” bluntly without thinking the consequences and the situation. Yes, our life is for us to live but we must not forget that our life is linked with many others living around us. People who care for us and who love us.

Every time I hear someone tell me it’s their life and they like to do things as however they want, it makes me feel sad because people just don’t know what life is all about.

Do you still think your life is yours alone? Here are a few reasons that explain why it is not-

1. Your life matters to your family

The moment you were born you become a part of someone’s life. Your parents and people who may love you. As you grow older there are lot many others who walk in your life. Some stay and some move on. But is your life alone? No! Your life is linked to many others who love to see you happy. We need to give something to get what we need.

When people decide to take off their life, they do not realize that they do not actually have the complete rights to do that. Because they fail to understand that it is easy for the person who dies, but it is difficult for the person who lives knowing that the one person who he or she loved most is not there with them anymore. So, I strongly deny that your life is not yours alone.

2. We live in a community

A person who tells you that he or she does not care about what the society thinks is the first person who is usually lying. People say that to convince themselves that they do not care, in truth they actually care. It is a reverse mechanism. When you are faced with rejection or some kind of negative responses to something or by someone, immediately many try to think that they do not care. Every human craves for recognition and to be identified for their potential. Instead of showing ignorance, it’s better to face criticism in a constructive way, After all, it is the same society which is going to give you all the things that you desire to be happy. Your existence is linked with the society you live in.

3. Following rules may help sometime

Agreed that some rules are baseless, but many are useful for us. Some rules are made for our own safety and protection. Most often the younger generation becomes agitated when they are restricted to many things. The first thing what we need to recognize is anything too much is not good. It is not the problem of having rules instead it is the problem of not knowing how to deal with them.

4. It is selfish

When someone says it’s my lifestyle, do not meddle, it sounds too prude and selfish to me. There are some people who try to be an unnecessary part of our lives when we are not interested. Some are even toxic. However, there are different ways to make sure that you keep such people at bay. But the way people go on with a rant of “My life! My rules” seems totally a selfish attitude. Sometimes it is also an escapism of laziness in order to avoid taking responsibilities.

We, humans, are social creatures and we need interactions with other people around us whether we like it or not, to survive. We may choose not to care but there are people who care for us more than we like to acknowledge. Hence, do not ever forget that your life is not yours alone. Sometimes we live by rules made by someone else just to keep the people we love happy even though it may not be something we wanted. Trust me, the result will always keep us happy in the end too. Life is to share and live together and care for one another. Embrace it, Enjoy it and Love it with everyone else in it.

 

Daughter’s Day Special: Enjoy this song to feel what she wants to say to you! 1127

This Daughter’s Day, Gallinukkad appeals to each parent of a daughter that now is time to change your mindset so that your daughters are raised rightly. Don’t suppress your daughter’s freedom, let her raise voice against any wrong happening to her physically and emotionally, make her career conscious and financially independent, hear and respect her opinions; don’t set boundaries for her, let her decide for herself. If you stand for her today, she will stand for herself and her daughter tomorrow.

And to the parents of a son, It’s time to teach your boys that even she is a complete individual, not just the other half.

Enjoy this beautiful song to feel what she wants to say to you!

Happy Daughter’s Day to all!