Why to spoil our ‘LADLA’ for the worst? 13

Despite being modern and open-minded, as we proudly call ourselves, when it comes to becoming a mother, in heart of our hearts, we want to become a mother of a son. And if in case, one is not thinking that way, the society we live in will give us bulldozing examples and benefits of having a son. Being a married woman whatsoever may be your education or accomplishments as a person, you are expected to give birth to a son for the greatest admiration.

Yes, it may seem non-digestive to few, but those who experience this will definitely agree with me.

But this is just one aspect, there is another aspect to this male dominant society. As a mother, each one of us especially from north-India ( that’s what I have noticed, nothing personal please), we have got that extra pamperedness for our boys. And this I am saying with an experience as a girlchild and now as a mother of both a son and a daughter.

As a girl in a Punjabi household, I was expected to be obedient, tidy and respectful to everyone around. But for boys in the family, for every statement of disrespect to any guest, my mother used to dive in saying, ” Lao Ji, bahut moody hai ji, baaki ankh taan bahut zyada hai aeis wich.” (he has too much of self respect). I felt that in the matters as trivial as the daily routine, the girls are asked to keep themselves tidy and organised but the boys can take extra benefits of “being a boy ” anytime, by not bathing,  scattering clothes here and there or being totally unhygienic.

As a sister of the household, if you tend to compare yourself with their attitude, a mother will jump in saying ” Rahen de ( leave it) , Munde aidaan hi karde ne ( boys do like that),  chal unho tang na kar zyada ( do not trouble him that much) “. Mothers can spoil them to any extent. From serving them on bed, cook meals for them in the middle of night, assuming that their “ladla” will be starving whole night and no wonder “ladla” had full diet of chicken with friends on the street to even clinging  their saving to minus when their son wants to have 3 days trip with friends.

So, these spoiled brats, who have never picked their utensils from the dining table, with their mothers claiming ” Rahen de, main haan na ( leave them, I’ll do it) “, the whole life they hardly know how to wash their socks or undergarments.

The other day, I remember, when I was teaching my two-year-old, to throw his toffee wrapper in dustbin, the elderly from neighbour, who was watching, claimed ” Chad, vichare ton kyun kam karana hai, munda hai, koi lod nai, appey kar le ( leave him don’t teach him all this, after all, he is a boy, why don’t you do it urself?) and I was really pissed off to hear that, but again didn’t answer her coz that’s what we, as girls have been taught since childhood. Aren’t we?

Most of the times, these boys will have to move out of the home and survive on their own in rented spaces in other towns. Will they be comfortable washing their own clothes, cooking for themselves and making their beds themselves? No, they will definitely face the brunt of life and would be helpless then.

We know life in hyper metro-cites or smart cities now are not easy for both men and women, where both have to work equally. Won’t this partial behaviour will create a tiff in his married life? Won’t these boys will become men who will always think that household chores are not his job? Won’t his would be wife will have to suffer this trauma for life? The answer is obviously….YES!

In the fast moving lives of today, trends are changing. The girls nowadays are equally qualified, smart and working in their respective careers. They want their soulmates to treat them equally and understand that the household chores are the equal responsibility of both the partners.

So, my point of writing this is an appeal to all mothers that there is no need to bring up your daughters like boys but the need of the hour is to make your boys understand right from childhood that the girl in the family is their equal in all aspects.

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Why is ‘Adoption’ unapproved by society for an unmarried single parent? 1373

I was preparing for sleep last night when my friend Asmi called me up. She was sounding flustered. More than flustered, there was a rage in her voice. It happens rarely that Asmi cries. She is 30, strong, self-reliant and a career-oriented woman. She didn’t marry because she chose not to marry. There is no catastrophic heartbreak story behind. Her focus has always been on her career. She is practical and staunched.

I understood her heart is really heavy else there has never been any place for tears in her eyes.

I quizzed her the reason.

“I am not crying because am sad, I am crying because am helpless and exasperated.” Asmi retorted.

I didn’t interrupt and allowed her to put her heart out.

“Preeti, I called my mother last night and had an argument with her.” she continued.

“I told my mother that I want to adopt a baby. Before I could say anything further she started yelling at me. She scolded me saying, Asmi already because of your decision of not getting married we are in pain. Why are you adding troubles to our lives? If you really want to adopt a baby just forget us. We have to live in this society and will have to answer people around. You have always done whatever you want but this time you are crossing your limits.

If not today, maybe tomorrow you will get married. Who will marry a girl with one child? Such things appear good in movies only. You better start focusing on marriage now. Preeti, My mother wasn’t even ready to listen to my thoughts”. Asmi started sobbing.

I really had no words to console her. Her thoughts were irreproachable and valiant.

But we cannot even disregard the fact that we live in a hypocrite society. When celebrities like Sushmita, Angelina, Sunny and more adopt a baby, we eulogize, lionize, praise their thoughts and we consider it as an act of kindness. We appreciate their humanity. We deduce that they gave a new life to someone. But when anyone from our own house even thinks of adoption we make them go through ignominy by coming up with the questions like is there any medical issue? Are you not straight? Why don’t you marry and then plan your own baby? Why are you trying to shame your parents? Why don’t you understand this baby won’t be your own blood? Are you kidding? Etc.

I’ve read somewhere that parenthood requires love and not DNA. I wish we really understand that. Your genes won’t define your family, our family is built with love care and respect. There are many people who do have a heart for adoption but fear comes in between. Fear of society.

I wish people understand that adopting a baby whether you are single or married isn’t a crime.

Adoption will not only give a baby a family but will also give us a special feeling. A feeling of being human. Probably the purpose we all are here for, giving life a life.

 

Movie Review: SIMRAN 2777

Queen, Tanu Weds Manu, Tanu Weds Manu Returns and now Simran, Kangna is on a rout, she has proven time and again that she is one of the best actresses available today. She has made a mark for herself in the film industry synonymous to that made by Sridevi, that, of doing movies which are female-centric, of movies which revolve around themselves (Judaai, Chaalbaz, Lamhe, Laadla to name a few). The only difference though being, all the movies had an extremely strong supporting cast. Kangna has to be given accolades to run a movie entirely on her very own shoulders, and this is not the first time either, we bow to you Kangna, you deserve the Best Actress Award for this one.

Kangna who plays Praful Patel is a gujju girl staying in Atlanta who likes herself be called as Prafff. Praf has a typical Gujarati accent and all my Gujju friends are going to love the Gujarati dialogues the movie carries, I know Gujarati and so I enjoyed it thoroughly.

Kangna is introduced from a housekeeping scene mopping and wiping floors and tables, there is just so much genuineness in that scene, it’s great to watch her there. When she goes to Vegas, her sleazy lines such as “are you tired, because you were running in my mind” are some great moments that bring about here innocence and wickedness both out at the same time.

In the red dress in Vegas, she looks gorgeous, she dazzles and ravishes like a diva and is super cute when she puts on her very native gujju accent “Halo, I aem Praeffff…” she just steals your attention away throughout the movie. A song in the movie titled “Lagdi Hai Thaai” sung by Guru Randhawa aptly describes what Simran is in the movie.

The best thing about this movie is that it has a good storyline and director Hansal Mehta pulls it off amazingly with Kangna. The first hour of the movie just zips its way through with Kangna showcasing her bubbly self, her expressions at an expensive store, her bargaining at the street shop and then her equivalence of the pink champagne and fries at the bartender, there are too many funny and hilarious moments. It’s the second half that becomes a tad serious but since the movie is almost 2 hrs, it doesn’t feel to be stretched at any point of time.

There are some points where you wonder if it is really possible to learn a bank robbery from YouTube and execute a heist, but those go in the movie stride and you really don’t mind these.

The movie touches important points related to the American Dream that much of our Indian Community has and exposes that it might not be true for everyone, it may turn out to be just a Dream for some. The nagging father of Kangna performs well and Sohum Shah is where I think a popular Bollywood actor would have benefited more, but Sohum looks original, he is simple and he looked like a studios guy from a small town in Gujarat, he does justice to his role.

But it’s Kangna and Kangna and Kangna stealing away the show, she is setting new benchmarks which are extremely difficult to surpass when it comes to ACTING. She is fantabulous and the heart of this movie.

She carries it on her shoulders all alone and she delivers a power-packed punch.

Music is good and hummable.

There is actually no one else to talk about in the movie, the movie has absolutely no supporting cast, but trust me, it wasn’t needed as well. The movie is about Simran, and it talks about Simran, hats off to Kangna, this one’s a Kohinoor in the QUEEN’S CROWN. 🙂

All in all, it’s an extremely light and a different movie with awesome Acting by Kangna. Watch it for Kangna.

Rating: 3.5/5.0

(0.5 points extra only and only for Kangna)